


Bitter Truths

by CarpathianRose



Category: InuYasha - A Feudal Fairy Tale
Genre: Angst, Drama, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, Kissing, Romance, Suspense
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-10-18
Updated: 2015-12-04
Packaged: 2018-04-26 23:35:34
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 14
Words: 27,509
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5025052
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CarpathianRose/pseuds/CarpathianRose
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Mixed emotions, bitter truths and sweet lies are revealed. The sequel to Sweet Lies.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

_Prologue_

_Kagome ran through the forest, as far away as she could from the small cottage she and Inuyasha shared. Inuyasha was passed out, sprawled on their bed. She went as far as she dared, a safe distance and dropped to all fours and retched. Bile rose up, strong, emptying the contents of her stomach until she dry heaved._

_"Oh, God." Kagome whispered. She gave another dry cough, her stomach tightening as tendrils of damp hair fell around her face._

_The words resounded in her brain. Oh God, oh God, oh God. She shuddered._

_She sat up slowly, cautiously, not wanting to retch again. Wiping her mouth with the back of her hand, she cursed herself. And then Inuyasha and Kouga. Then herself again. What was wrong with her?_

_She didn't get up, she wasn't so sure she had the strength. So instead, she closed her eyes and leaned back against the tree trunk behind her and drew her knees up. Her eyes watered as she tilted her head back and stared at the canopy of green over her head and the hint of blue sky._

_She was confused. She was terrified. She was hopeful. She just didn't understand...herself. Horror filled her. What was she going to do?_

_Even years later Kouga still managed to disrupt her life, to come crashing back into it. Why couldn't she just not care? Even the Fuedal Era had such woes known as 'Rum' or 'Whiskey'. She and alcohol did not mix. Not at all._

_She hunched over again as another wave of nausua hit her._

_Something was growing inside of her. Something so precious, so innocent. She brought her hands up and covered her face._ _Life was growing inside her womb and it wasn't Inuyasha's._

_"Damn you." She whispered, though she wasn't sure if she was damning herself or Kouga._


	2. Chapter 2

Kagome stepped out into the morning light. The sun hung low, still not quiet over the hill tops. She could hear the hum of birds and aura of other roaming demons. She wasn't alarmed, it was natural. The land was crawling with them. Some were just more dangerous than others, while others couldn't hurt even a flea.

She inhaled. The Fuedal Era had been her home for years now, but she'd grown up for far longer in the modern era. Sometimes she expected to walk outside and hear the overhead sound of planes, or cars honking. Now, all she heard was nature.

It was much calmer.

Inuyasha was still fast asleep. He was rarely up before the sun. Sometimes, he could sleep the day away. She didn't doubt that Miroku and Sango were long past up. They had three children to keep up with.

Stepping outside, she pulled the door closed quietly and set off into the forest. She set off along this well used and familiar path. The grass was damp but she gave it due to the morning dew that had settled overight.

The path was well walked, with a dirt trail from having been traced so many times in the past. Trees loomed over either side, vibrant green with limbs that met and twisted high above. Light filtered through. This small path was almost like a whole different world until it opened out into a large clearing.

The path circled around the clearing on either side before closing at the end. All the path led to was the large clearing. On both sides of where she stood towered two cherry blossom trees. They stood there like guardians or a gateway.

She sank to her knees between the two trees, bowed her head and said a silent prayer.

There was a few marked stones in the clearing and behind them a round crystal lake that beckoned her eyes. To the right was an overhanging she'd had Miroku build. It was covered in pink flowers and beneath the wooden overhanging was another stone they had half buried.

She'd seen Inuyasha there more times than she could count.

Kaede, Kohaku, Shippo. Kikyou.

Kagome refused to call it a graveyard. The place was to beauitful for that. She'd choosen it because of the Cherry Blossom Trees and the wide clearing and the flowers that took up around the stones. She'd just wanted a place for them to remember. They'd lost precious family in the battle against Naraku that had taken place years ago.

She stopped by each stone, laying a few flowers over each barren spot. "I still miss you, Shippo." She whispered, smoothing her hand down the stone.

She stopped at the arched overhanging and then sank to her knees. She'd done this for Inuyasha because Kikyou had meant something to Inuyasha at one time. She still did. The roses growing twisted over and around the arched way represented Kikyou. Kikyou was everything she wasn't.

She wasn't flawless like Kikyou. She was clumsy. She'd made a powerful name for herself here in the Fuedal Era, but Kikyou's name would always shadow over hers. She kissed two fingers and pressed them against one of the roses curled into the wood. Kikyou may not be buried here, but this was her resting place none the less.

Kagome sighed heavily. She'd found Inuyasha here one too many times. Sometimes he was here for hours, sometimes he was here for only minutes. Sometimes he would be sitting, conversating to nothing, though she knew the words were for Kikyou.

She did the same thing with Shippo.

Staring at the roses and the archway, Kagome found her mind wandering again. It was almost sad. She knew Inuyasha loved her. He'd loved Kikyou, too. Would his choice have been different if Kikyou had survived?

Another aura pushed at hers. She lifted her head, momentarily tensing as she flared out her senses. It was close. Closer than it should have been. Bracing her right hand against the ground she started to stand and then stopped when she swept her gaze over the clearing.

The aura pushing against hers came from the lone figure standing at the mouth of the crystal lake. His back was to her in a stance in what she was assuming left his arms crossed at the chest. His tail twitched, moving idly back and forth. He stood there unmoving, looking out over the crystal lake.

She'd offered Kouga and his pack sanctuary here, a place to remember his fallen pack members. Inuyasha hadn't completely agreed with it. They didn't have the modern technology to make a proper memorial and Kouga had only shook his head at the stones. The lake was all the rememberence he needed, he had said.

Even after what he'd done, she had still offered him a quiet place here.

_She couldn't stop the sigh that passed her lips, but it wasn't one of annoyance. It was contentment. She didn't want to feel it, but she did. Utter satisfaction. She couldn't move a muscle and the warmth of his body cocooned her in a world all of their own making. There was no one else, just the two of them. The warmth of his body was luring her to sleep and before she realized it her eyes were drifting shut. She felt a soft rumble against her back..._

__Was he purring?__

_She_ hadn't forgotten. She had told herself it didn't matter. She could forget. He was only her first. That excuse may have worked in modern times if she was a regular girl. But she wasn't a regular girl, was she? She was a reicarnation, born with the ability to travel through time and a very powerful Miko. She'd destroyed one of the most powerful Demons of all time. Nothing about her was normal.

Whenever she saw Kouga, it was usually in passing. His wolves still hung around. They roamed.

She finally stood and though he didn't so much as move a muscle, she wasn't naive enough to think that he hadn't noticed her presence. That would have been hard for him to miss with that nose of his, not to mention of Miko aura.

She broke into an empty path between the flowers made her way over to him. She stopped at his side, both overlooking the lake.

She was silent for a moment before she let a small smile grace her lips. How long had it been since she'd seen him? Six months since his wolves had passed through on their journey back?

"Hi." She said softly. She couldn't think of anything else to say. One word, as simple as it was.

He didn't respond the way she was expecting, though.

"You always seem to astound me."

She wasn't expecting that and in all honesty, it confused her. "Why do you say that?"

He finally turned his head and his startling blue eyes met hers. Had his eyes always been so blue? "Even after all the pain she caused you, you give her a place of peace." The tone of his voice wasn't insulting. He was more of making a ...fact. To him, anyways.

"She wasn't...," Kagome started. He didn't have to say Kikyou's name. "...Inuyasha needed it as much as I did."

"Always putting others before yourself." Kouga still didn't move from his stance. He finally smiled and she saw the tension in his shoulders visibly ease. "It's good to see you again, Kagome."

Her smile returned. "Are Ginta and Hakku with you?"

His lips twitched. "They're probably still trying to catch up."

Kagome remembered fondly of those two. She had lost cout of all the times she'd seen them running in Kouga's dust, barely stopping to wave at her. When she really thought about it, not that much time had passed. So many fond memories. So many memories. So many...

She cleared her throat. "I need to get back, but I meant what I said. You know you're always welcome here."

"You don't have to go yet."

He'd said those words to her before.

_His arms tightened a fraction and then he rolled them over so that they were on their sides and he was cradling her from behind still. He shifted his leg up and threw it over hers, keeping her pinned against his chest. "You don't have to go yet." He murmured again._

His arm surrounded her shoulders suddenly and tugged her against his side. "You always were beautiful when you blushed." He murmured teasingly against her hairline.

Kagome stood there, her cheeks heated just like he said they were. When she blushed? For a moment she felt mortified that he knew exactly where her thoughts had gone. Looking up at him, he was staring ahead. His lips were quirked up at the edges.

He hadn't forgotten. But he wouldn't, would he?

But he didn't make any other moves towards her like he would have in the past. He just...had his arm around her shoulder. Like he would a friend.

So Kouga. So tame.

She cleared her throat again and stepped out from the shelter of his arm. He didn't stop her. He turned and arched an eyebrow. "The dog should be coming soon."

InuYasha. Kagome rolled her eyes at Kouga's little pet name for InuYasha. That was something that was never going to change. Inuyasha was probably going to call him worse. He was right, though. She picked up Inuyasha's aura before she saw him and then she caught a flash of red before Inuyasha was dropping between her and Kouga.

That was one thing that was never going to change between the two men.

The need to beat each other to a bloody pulp.

Or puff out chests, at least.

* * *

 

"What are you doing here, ya mangy wolf?"

Kouga admired Inuyasha. He may be a nasty mouthed, flea ridden sack of dog shit, but he was still Inuyasha. The Inuyasha who had helped avenge his pack, the Inuyasha that Kagome valued so highly.

But he didn't like him. He didn't have to like him. Like was a far wolves howl from it. He shrugged. "The same thing Kagome's doing here, probably."

Looking at Inuyasha, he almost wished Inuyasha would say something against that. He silently dared him.

He had every fucking right to be here.

"Keep your grubby hands to yourself, wolf." Inuyasha muttered.

Kagome sighed and pushed Inuyasha aside. "Behave." She warned him.

Kagome had given him free reign here, just as she had Sango and Miroku. Anyone, for that matter. The place she had brought to life here was like a ...Shrine. Some of his kin would call it disgraceful for him to set foot in the holy place.

Kagome gave just enough leave way for him and a few other demons to set foot. The Priestess had learned first hand not all demons were hell bent. But not all demons were out for the good sake of mankind, either.

Kagome. His sweet and far too kind woman.

An old bitterness crept up at the way Inuyasha hovered over Kagome. He tampered the emotion down and then gave a fanged grin. "I gotta go, mutt face. See ya later, Kagome!" Kouga said as he suddenly took off in the opposite direction, kicking up a whirlwind of dirt behind him.

He heard Inuyasha yelling obsenities and grinned. Sometimes he had to wonder if he bugged the shit out of Inuyasha on purpose. The answer to that was yes.

He felt elated at the run.

His ears had perked up when he'd heard footsteps near the lake and then he'd recognized Kagome's all too familiar scent.

He hadn't meant for their relationship to become a strain. Somewhere along the way, it had. For Kagome, not for him. He sighed heavily and ignored Ginta and Hakku's sudden yell as he charged past them, spinning them around with his speed.

He would always want to see Kagome, whether she had chosen the mutt face or not. She was his woman in his heart.

His lips twitched. The poor Miko, she still blushed. Was Inuyasha not doing his job? His expression soured when thought about the fact that he, however, had done his job. All too well. Was he jealous? He'd long ago admitted yes to that question.

The thought came again. He admired Inuyasha, but he hated his fucking guts. How could he do that to Kagome? Even in death the clay bitch still seemed to haunt Kagome. How could Inuyasha do that to her? Kagome still played second. She may not realize it, but she did.

He was a fucking wolf. Kagome had once called him a gentleman. But no, he was nothing but a patient wolf. He only had a sliver of hope because of that dead clay doll. He respected Kagome and the only reason he wasn't swinging her up into his arms and claiming her as his woman like he used to was because of the...mate bond between Inuyasha and Kagome, if you could call it that.

His snarled at the thought. No Mate would keep the image of a dead lover. They certainly wouldn't let it hang over their mates head.

He wouldn't. He'd be insulting his wolf heritage-and Kagome.

He respected Kagome. But if he so much as saw a crack, he'd be the wolf that he was bred to be. Even with that thought, the lingering sadness was still there, the ache in his chest. That night had meant something to him and it brought a smile to his lips knowing Kagome remembered. She remembered.

She never was going to forget it.

That part of her body, that part of her fucking soul was his.

He skidded to a halt when he came to the outcropping that led to his pack and then took a bounding jump. He heard a few howls in welcome and gave a nod in acknoledgment. His pack was flourishing, stronger than ever. The Elders may not agree with everything he did but he was leading a strong pack, wasn't he? One of the strongest they'd had in centuries.

The moment he stepped foot into his den he knew he wasn't alone. He knew exactly who was taking up his personal space. All of a sudden he just wasn't in the mood to deal with her bullshit. With a heavy sigh he dropped down onto the furs that made up his bed in the corner. He drew one knee up while resting his forearm on it, the other rubbing the place between his eyes.

"Get out." He said slowly.

His little red headed foe did the complete opposite, not that he'd expected anything different. Ayame rose from where she'd been curled on her side on his bed until she was perched on her knees. "What's wrong?"

How many times was she openly going to defy him? How many times was he going to let her get away with it? He was her Alpha the moment she'd petitioned to join his pack. She earned her place and proven herself worthy. But that made him her Alpha. Not the other way around.

He could feel a headache coming on.

"Get out, Ayame. I'm not in the mood to deal with you today."

"What's wrong, Kouga? Tell me." She rose and then sank to her knees behind him. "You can't keep pushing me away." Kouga stiffended when her arms surrounded him from behind. Her lips touched the side of his neck and his arms snaked up, lightening fast.

He circled her slender neck with both hands and whipped her body up and over his head. She was a wolf demon. The move wouldn't even phase her. He whipped her over his head and dumped her unceremonially at his feet. He leaned over her, bracing his clawed hands on either side of her shoulders. She was upside down, her head brushing his knees. Was that apprehension he saw? Good.

"We all have a role, Ayame. If one acts within the parameters of their role, the whole pack succeeds. If that falls apart, so does the pack." Kouga said slowly, his tone even. "I have one role. That is Alpha. I lead, you follow. There is nothing to push away."

She opened her mouth and he bared his fangs in warning. He didn't want to hear a single word about that childhood fantasy of hers. "If you say it, I will tan your hide till you can't walk for a week."

He knew Ayame was choosing her words carefully. When he made a threat, it was never taken lightly. He'd take great pleasure in whipping that memory from her mind.

"Every Alpha needs his Luna."

His lips peeled back again, exposing dangerous fangs.

"And pups?" Ayame asked.

"I won't have any." His response was quick. He meant every word. If they weren't with Kagome, then he wouldn't have any. Ever. He just didn't...want anyone else.

He twisted his hands in her red hair but didn't pull the threads. He leaned down and kissed her forehead. "Is that it, Ayame? Is that what this is about? The only thing you're liable to get out of me is a single fuck." He responded bluntly. Sometimes that was the only way to get the point across.

Her expression softened. "You don't have to be so crude, Kouga."

He grinned though there was nothing amusing in his expression. "I'm a wolf, Ayame. I'm always going to be crude." He pushed his hands beneath her shoulders and then shoved her to her feet. "Now get out before I throw you out."

Her footsteps echoed her retreat and then silence filled the cave.

If she hadn't heeded his words, he would have thrown her out. If he couldn't Mate Kagome, then he would Mate no one. He wasn't a Saint. Fuck that. He was still a wolf demon and a fucking male at that. He had his needs. Either by his hand or some other female demon.

Kagome was the only human he'd taken.

He rubbed the place over his heart.

He used his hand more often than not. He almost blamed Kagome for that. He could look down at a female and fuck her until she passed out, but her hair wasn't the right color, her skin was too dark or she didn't smell right.

He scrubbed a hand down his face.

He actually prayed to the God he didn't believe in. Let Inuyasha make a mistake. Just one. He was a fucking wolf and he wanted a chance to claim the one he'd staked his claim on years ago.

 


	3. Chapter Three

"Are you sure he's not going to hurt him?" Kagome asked.

Sango folded her arms, watching father and son battle it out in the clearing. "No, Miroku is actually well versed in training children. Hard to believe, I know."

"I wasn't talking about Miroku." Kagome said, her lips twitching.

Sango arched an eyebrow before chuckling. "Well...like mother like son."

Kagome watched the duo out in the clearing. Miroku was instructing his and Sango's son in the art of battle. From the looks, the young boy was holding out fairly well for his age. The young boy was fighting back with ardor, dodging his fathers every attack and following the instructions that were given.

Kagome's words rang true when the boy threw out a weapon much similiar to Sango's straight toward Miroku, who easily side-stepped it. The weapon spun in the air like a boomerang and came back, catching Miroku behind the knees and sent him flat on his ass.

Kagome and Sango burst out laughing as Miroku's staff was taken in victory.

"Not in front of the ladies, son, never in front of the ladies." Miroku said from his position on his ass, his tone defeated. He much preferred to win when there was an audience. He could lose when they were in private.

Sango shrugged innocently and turned to Kagome. "I think I taught him well."

Kagome hid her smile behind her hand. Miroku liked to think his lessons were domineering over Sango's fighting skills but they all knew better. If anything, he was teaching them the patience of a monk. And household skills. Sango was, after all, a Demon slayer.

All of that groping must have paid off because Miroku had won Sango over and before they'd even been married nine months, Sango had given birth to her first son. Not even a year later she gave birth to a second. Looking down at Sango's protruding stomach, she knew the third was well on its way. They were hoping for a girl this time.

Kagome sighed softly, watching the by-play between father and son. She wanted a family of her own someday. She wanted...

"What's wrong, Kagome?"

She lifted her head at Sango's inquiry. "Nothing."

"I've known you for how long, Kagome?" Sango said, bending down to pick up the small boy who held up his hands. She knew Kagome. When she was quiet, something was wrong. When she  _sighed_ something was wrong. 

Kagome shrugged off the insecurity. "You look so happy." She said softly. She couldn't think of any other way to put it.

Sango smiled. "I am happy." More happy than she had thought she'd ever be. Miroku may still be a groping pervert, but he was her groping pervert who knew she'd cut off his groping hands if he groped anyone else but her. She silently laughed at the thought. If someone had said this was to be her future, years ago, she would have laughed in their faces. She had a wonderful husband and two children, plus one on the way. "But that doesn't answer my question, Kagome."

"I just...I always thought..." She fidgeted with a strand of hair, her smile dying away.

Looking at her friend, comprehension dawned and Sango wrapped an arm around Kagome's shoulders. "I know." She said softly.

She knew, but did she really, Kagome wondered. "Can I tell you something?"

"You know you can, Kagome."

"I saw Kouga the other day." Kagome admitted. That wasn't all that was on her mind, or what she had wanted to say period, but the thought was there and it came out.

"We are near the East." Sango murmured. "Kohaku seems to be one of Kouga's biggest fans." She almost pitied Kouga when he came around. Her son wouldn't let Kouga out of his sight. He always wanted the Wolf Demon to play the bad guy or good guy and he  _had_ to "beat" Kouga into the ground. At least Kouga was willing to submit to her sons wild imagination. 

They'd all had a hand in defeating Naraku and in the long journey they'd all become...like family.

"I know you, Kagome. You're being vague."

Kagome sighed again. "Inuyasha was at Kikyou's grave again."

Sango wasn't sure how to answer that. Inuyasha and Kikyou had a history, one that was written down in history.

A grimace crossed Kagome's face. They all had secrets. Dark secrets. Miroku had his past. Sango held the memory of watching her entire family and village be slaughtered. Kouga had nearly lost his entire pack. Inuyasha had Kikyou. She had traveled back in time and lost her entire family to the future.

She was jealous over a dead woman.

But there was more to it than that. Much more.

Sango hunched down and set the other boy on his feet. "Go defeat your daddy. He's the bad guy. Go for his ankle." Watching her son jolt across the clearing with a battle cry, she felt a small smile curve her lips before turning to Kagome. "Let's go inside."

Kagome nodded and followed Sango into the small hut, ducking as she did so. Time was taking its toll on her. Dropping into one of the wooden chairs surrounding the table, Kagome looked to the closed door. "You promise you won't tell? Not even Miroku."

Sango kept her expression vague. Not tell Miroku? She pondered that over for a moment. She had no secrets where Miroku was concerned. She didn't want secrets between them. She'd made that clear when she'd demanded honesty from Miroku. But Kagome looked...disturbed. She nodded.

Sango knew so much of her life. From the bits and pieces of her future, even if the slayer didn't understand them, to the few secrets she had shared with the slayer. Kagome was an open person. She rarely had anything to hide.

"Inuyasha gave his mark to Kikyou."

Sango stared, not sure what to make of Kagome's words. Her silence must have said as much, because panic crossed Kagome's face.

Maybe it was Kouga's words that had opened up something inside her.  _You always seem to astound me. Even after all the pain she's caused you, you still give her a place of peace._

"When demons mate, they mark their mates. They...bite them." Inuyasha may be half demon, but he still had demon blood and those demon urgings. Looking at Sango, she wished she had kept her grievings to herself, but now that the damn had broken, it was  _broke._ "We haven't...we can't...." 

Inuyasha had marked her. That mark was on her shoulder. He'd given her all that he could. It was a thick scar where he'd bitten her. He'd hurt her intentionally, but it was the only way to form any semblance of a mark on her body from him. Her skin had grown over, but it was still viable.

"I can kill Inuyasha, you know that, right?"

Kagome covered her face with her hands. "I don't want you to kill him."

Inuyasha never was smart. Sango would fight to the death for Inuyasha and on many occassions, she had. But the half demon had never been very smart where common sense was concerned. Sango looked at the situation and the other few secrets she knew of Kagome. She hadn't expected...this.

"You remember when that boar demon attacked and nearly broke my arm? When Miroku had to go get Inuyasha?"

Sango nodded.

That was because Inuyasha hadn't  _sensed_ the pain she'd been. Oh, he'd smelled her blood and went into a rage, but he hadn't sensed or felt it. God, did she envy Sango? It was no secret that she'd fallen head over heels for Inuyasha. 

"It's just, I look at you and Miroku, you look so happy. You have a  _family._ And then I see Kouga--" Kagome was babbling, she knew that. 

"What does Kouga have to do with anything?" Sango asked softly.

"He reminded me why I never did like Kikyou." Her tone wasn't harsh, it was just low and soft.

In the past, it hadn't mattered how many times Inuyasha had left Kagome to run to Kikyou. She hadn't uttered a single word against her. Not even all the times she had found Inuyasha in her arms. The Gods knew Inuyasha deserved it, but Kagome's heart was just too kind. Sango inhaled, trying to find the words.

"What did he say?"

Kagome opened her mouth and then closed it. She grimaced. "You always did astound me." She quoted softly. "Even after all the pain she's caused you, you still give you a place of peace."

Sango pondered those words. Did the Wolf Demon still care for Kagome? But it really didn't matter, did it? Inuyasha had already claimed Kagome for all intents and purposes. That was just the way of demons. "He always was smarter than Inuyasha." She added in after thought. "Except for the times he was throwing you over his shoulder or fighting with Inuyasha."

Kagome gave a soft laugh at the reminder. That was true. If she could have 'sat' Kouga into submission when he acted a fool like Inuyasha, she would have.

"Why did you tell me all this, Kagome?"

Kagome looked down at the table. Why had she? How could she answer a question like that? "I don't know." She answered honestly.

Sango leaned across the table and cupped Kagomes cheeks in her hands. "I'm here, Kagome. You're like a sister to me. I swear, if you want me to kill him, I will. No excuses needed."

Kagome wasn't sure if Sango was joking or not. But she was sure she was. Her laugh when it came was a little more woobly than she would have liked. "No, you can't."

Sango wanted to hit Inuyasha. She really did. Hit him with her boomerang and then with Miroku's staff. He'd really pledged himself to Kagome when a good portion of his soul had died with someone else?

"You said Kouga was there. You were talking to him about...this?"

"What? No, he was just....ugh, there." She couldn't talk about this with Kouga. She couldn't even talk about it with Inuyasha. She was barely managing it with Sango. For some reason her control had just...snapped.

"What was Kouga talking about?"

"Ah...nothing. That was all he said." For the most part. And he'd said she was beautiful when she blushed. Ye Gods, he was an idiot sometimes. She could feel her cheeks heating at the reminder. So many reminders there.

Sango stared at her, her expression. "Nothing?" And then the heat on her face, the way her cheeks reddened. And then Sango, "Oh." Her eyes narrowed before rounding. " _OH....Kagome, you didn't."_

Kagome felt her eyes grow wide in shock at Sango's accusation. "What? I didn't!" She didn't see any mean harboring in Sango's eyes, nothing but sadness and confusion. She could feel her cheeks grow even hotter because at one time, she had. May the Gods help her,  _but she had._ She covered her face with her hands and groaned. She felt like crying. 

She heard Sango's chair scraping the floor before the slayer was at her side, wrapping an arm around her shoulders. "I don't know what's going on with you, Kagome, but when..." She hadn't expected that admission. It was there in the guilt on Kagome's face, in her flushed face. Ye Gods, Kagome and Kouga?  _When had that happened?_ She was surprised that Inuyasha and Kouga hadn't come to blows over it. She wondered how Kouga had managed that. He'd been crazy about the priestess at one time. She trusted wholly in the fact that it had been willing on Kagome's part because she could have purified Kouga's wolf demon ass in a heartbeat. 

But how  _could_ have Kagome did that to Inuyasha? Inuyasha was a fool, but even he didn't deserve that. Two wrongs didn't make a right. 

How had the bitter truth come out?

"It was before, not after." Kagome whispered.

"Ah..." Sango murmured, understanding dawning. So it was before Inuyasha and Kagome had "mated". "When?"

"Does it really matter?"

"I guess not."

Kagome looked up. "You can't tell Inuyasha." She shook her head. "Please." That was a secret she was going to take to her grave. A secret that had stolen her very breath.

Sango nodded but wondered if she could really keep this from Miroku. But if she told him, he probably would tell Inuyasha.

Inuyasha and Kagome were growing apart as only time could do. A commitment that wasn't there was forcing a rift between the two. Looking at Kagome, Sango knew her dear friend was struggling to come to grips with that truth. She cared for the half-demon, but Sango had the feeling that infatuation was starting to wear thin.

She wrapped Kagome in her arms, offering her what little comfort she could. "I still can't believe that you and Kouga..." She said, trailing off, her words muffled in Kagome's hair. Kagome groaned.

"As over-bearing as Kouga can be, at least you know he's still there no matter what." Even after he'd gotten what he'd wanted, though Sango kept that part to herself.

And that was the problem. Kouga should hate her. Kagome wasn't so sure she would have been able to stand him hating her, though.

"Do you like Kouga?"

Kagome shrugged at the question. That wasn't something she wanted to discuss. But she'd already discussed worse, hadn't she? "Apparently." She said, her tone dry as she withdrew from Sango's arms.

Sango sighed. "We're all a little messed up, aren't we?" She understood Kagome. She really did. No one deserved to live a half life. "If I could set you back with Kouga, I would." But that was all in the past. At least she knew Kouga would be true in every aspect.

Kagome groaned. "Shut up." Her and Inuyasha hadn't even been together for a full two years but she'd known this truth from the beginning. It was numbing and she was starting to wonder...did she still love the half demon?

  
  


Author's Note:

You may notice a few changes, but they keep the story going along. I really hope you all enjoyed this chapter. I've been struggling with it the past couple of hours. Excuse any typos.

Kagome has lived with this burden for almost two years. Remember, when she fell in love with Inuyasha she was a GIRL. She's beginning to realize that all may not be what it seems. It may be a little late, but hey, they all have to make decisions that they later pay for, right?

Thank you for reading and don't forget to review!

 


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter Four

 

 

 

 

 

Kagome stared down at Inuyasha. He sat there on the floor with his arms crossed, a brooding expression on his face.

 

“You don't have to hide yourself away in here, Inuyasha.” Kagome said softly.

 

It was dark outside, the darkness seeping in through the window Inuyasha had propped open. He didn't look at her, just sat on the floor with his arms crossed over his chest. He looked so vulnerable sitting there—so human.

 

“I'm not hiding.” He muttered beneath his breath, but she heard him anyways.

 

Inuyasha thought of it as a curse on the nights that he turned human. How was being a human a curse? He was weaker, but that didn't make him any less a man. She was human. She may have strange powers, but she was still human. Miroku and Sango were human, but Inuyasha still knew what real power felt like.

 

“We all know you turn human, Inuyasha.” Kagome tried again, sighing softly.

 

He didn't reply, just sat there stubbornly. Was Inuyasha so scared of the outside world as a human? She'd survived easily enough without his effort. They argued like this every time and every time he won. Most of the time she ended up leaving him to his pity and spending what remained of the night at the lake or chatting with Sango.

 

Some nights she was tempted to just drag him out and show him that being a human wasn't that bad. The dim sense of smell, not having to hear every cricket that sounded from miles away. That's what he was afraid of, though. Not knowing what was going on in the world around him.

 

That was the beauty of it, though. Finding. He had other people to look after him. As a human she had Inuyasha looking after her, Miroku and Sango. She even had Kouga looking after her, whether she wanted him to or not.

 

“Please, Inuyasha, for me?” It was never good to hide from what you feared. Inuyasha needed an out from his insecurity. He'd been going through this his entire life—how could he not have accepted this part of his life?

 

“Go to bed, Kagome.”

 

She hated it when he did this. When he closed himself off from everyone and everything around him. Including her. She almost laughed at the idea of an intervention, which would have been done in the modern era.

 

She opened her mouth and then closed it. She touched his shoulder. “We can go to Kikyou's grave.” She offered softly, though in all honesty it was the last thing she wanted to do.

 

Inuyasha lifted his head at that and the action hurt her more than she wanted to admit. He didn't get up, though. “Go to bed, Kagome.” He murmured again.

 

“You went for Kikyou.” Kagome didn't know why she said the words. They came and she couldn't stop them, because they were the truth. He'd done that for Kikyou. She hadn't let him hide himself away from the world. But she'd only wanted the human part of Inuyasha, hadn't she?

 

She saw the way his shoulders tensed but he didn't move from his position. He was going to sit there all night, she knew. He never could sleep on the nights he turned human. “Don't.” Inuyasha shook his head.

 

“Don't what?” Kagome asked, daring him to say it.

 

Inuyasha shook his head again and turned to look at her finally. “I can't _sense_ anything, Kagome. Do you know weak that makes me feel?” 

 

She felt relief that he didn't say what she didn't want him to say. “Actually, I do. There's nothing wrong with being human, Inuyasha. It's a part of who you are, whether you like it or not.”

 

“How can I protect you, really protect you, if I can't sense when dangers coming?”

 

“I can sense evil, Inuyasha.”

 

“So could Kikyo.”

 

Her heart twisted. He'd just compared her to Kikyo. Kikyou hadn't been able to defend herself against the greatest evil the Feudal Era had seen—and Inuyasha had always compared her to that, even if she HAD defeated that great evil in the end. He cared for her, she knew, otherwise he wouldn't be scared.

 

“I'm not Kikyou.” They'd had this conversation before, though it had been shorter and less to the point. But it was growing harder and harder to ignore the the comparison. “You've seen the world as a human before, you don't have to hide yourself away every time.”

 

When he didn't respond, Kagome dropped her hand away from his shoulder. There was no use in arguing with him. Inuyasha was stubborn and he'd made it clear he wasn't going anywhere. She wasn't even sure why she wanted to get him out so desperately. She sighed in defeat and stepped outside.

 

She wondered what Inuyasha would have done if he'd been able to sense her emotions. Would he have been able to stay away? Would he have comforted her? What would it have been like to experience a true Mating?

 

Inuyasha would known how much his choice to stay inside hurt her. When she'd brought up Kikyou, he would have known how much the truth of that had hurt her.

 

She could hear the crickets in the distance. At least it wasn't completely silent. She crossed her arms and started down the pathway, leaving the hut and passing Sango's along the way. The last place she expected to find herself at was the place she ended up at. The crystal lake was both a place of peace and misery. She stared up at the archway of wood of Kikyou's resting place and the roses that grew over the surface.

 

She was here. Again.

 

God, she hated Kikyou. What Kouga had said was closer than any truth she'd heard. Kikyou still managed to haunt her even in death. Kikyou.

 

She wanted to wipe the memory of Kikyou from the face of the earth as if she had never been there. Kagome knew that if there was any great evil still present, they would have seeped into her heart and stolen what light she had. Just from the single thought. She was stuck with the sense of unfairness and anger.

 

Kagome lifted her hands over her head and jerked the vine of tangled roses down. A few petals rained down over her head while the rest bunched in her hands, the veins following the downward pull. She felt the mild sting of the thorns dig into her palms but ignored the sensation as she dropped the roses. They landed at her feet and she stared at the rose vines.

 

She reached up again and jerked at the vines covering the side. Rose petals cluttered around her feet and green leaves. She inhaled hard and blinked at the stinging in her eyes.

 

“Stop, you're hurting yourself.” Kouga said gruffly and spun her around in his arms, latching onto her wrists.

 

Kagome jumped, her heart leaping when Kouga appeared out of nowhere. “What are you doing?”

 

“I think that's what I should be asking you.” Kouga said and turned her hands over palm up. Rose thorns stuck out of her tender skin. He cursed beneath his breath and started picking them out one by one. “What _are_ you doing?”

 

She looked angry and unless his sense of smell was waning, he was sure he could smell the salty tang of her tears. She wasn't crying, but he could smell them.

 

“I don't know.” That was the truth. She hadn't come here to desecrate Kikyou's gave and memorial. The emotions had just poured from her and she hadn't been able to stop the onslaught. All the roses that she had planted with careful hands for Inuyasha were now a tangled mess behind them. She should feel guilty, but she didn't. She felt...relief.

 

She winced when Kouga plucked out another thorn, his thumb smoothing over the sting left behind.

 

“Sorry.” Kouga muttered, holding her hand still when she would have jerked it away from the pain he was sure she was starting to feel. Thorns were like splinters. He plucked them out as gently as he could. “What are you doing out here by yourself?”

 

Her fingers twitched when he yanked a thorn out of her thumb. “...I don't know.”

 

“Or maybe I should be asking you why you're tearing apart Kikyou's grave.”

 

He never had been very fond of Kikyou, but he respected her to an extent. It wasn't like Kagome to desecrate something....sacred. But here she was. The Priestess wasn't even buried here, but still.

 

Kagome found herself blinking her eyes again. “I can't seem to get away from her.”

 

Kouga held her hands and lifted them to his face. Her hands were red and a few tiny pin pricks of blood welled up. He sank down to one knee and pulled her with him. He dipped her hand beneath the water. “She's dead.” You couldn't get any further away from a person than in death.

 

Kagome stared at their joint hands as he poured the water over her throbbing hand. “Not to Inuyasha.”

 

Kouga looked up and paused for a brief second before he took her other hand and repeated the measure. He didn't say anything else.

 

Her hands throbbed dully but he finally released them. She hadn't even realized what she was doing until Kouga had stopped her. She looked up and could make out his stern features in the semi darkness. His jaw was shadowed with stubble, but there was a darker spot on the left side of his jaw. She frowned.

 

“What happened?” Kagome asked, reaching out and touching his jaw.

 

Kouga returned the frown and then rubbed his jaw thoughtfully. “Sango broke my jaw earlier today.”

 

Sango had what...? Kagome stared, but his jaw didn't look broken. There was nothing but a bruise. But he was a full demon. It probably would heal quickly, wouldn't it? “Sango isn't strong enough to break your jaw.”

 

Kouga winced and dropped his hand. “She is if she uses that weapon of hers.”

 

Ah, that made sense. She could do a lot of damage with that boomerang of hers. But the question still remained... “What did you do?”

 

Kouga took her hand, careful of her palm and helped her to her feet. “I did nothing. I was helping one of her kids train with Miroku and she came at me with that weapon. Said I was an idiot.”

 

“I'm sorry.” Sango rarely did anything without a reason, though. Kouga had to have done something to piss her off.

 

“You didn't do it, the crazy slayer did.”

 

“I can talk to her if you'd like.”

 

Kouga shook his head with a wry smile. “Don't worry about it. I've had worse and as you can see, I'm nearly healed.” He folded his arms and the smile dropped away. “The Kagome I know doesn't go around trampling roses. Why are you so angry with a dead woman?”

 

She knew Kouga meant no disrespect towards Kikyou—he was stating a fact. Kikyou was dead. He'd found her ripping the roses apart and down and hurting herself in the process. He'd want to know the reason, wouldn't he?

 

“We had an...” It hadn't really been a fight. An argument? “...argument.”

 

“Who?”

 

“Inuyasha and I.”

 

Kouga sighed. Inuyasha was the fucking idiot here, not him. “About Kikyou?” He asked cautiously. It couldn't have been about anything else. Because it was Kikyou Kagome was taking her anger out on, whether it was warranted or not.

 

Kagome didn't respond at first. She didn't want to indulge too much into Kouga. She'd already said too much to Sango. She frowned at the thought and looked back up at him. “Sango didn't mention anything when she, ugh, hit you? About me, maybe?”

 

“No. Why would she?” That would have warranted a jaw breaking, but he hadn't done anything to Kagome. Had he?

 

Why was she discussing this with him? Him—Kouga, of all people? He was the last person on earth she should be discussing any personal aspects of her life with. She looked away from his searching face and towards the disregarded roses. “Do you think I'm a good person, Kouga?”

 

His eyebrows snapped down at her question. “You _are_ one of the most sincere people I know, Kagome.” He'd never met anyone as true and pure hearted as her. “You know this, Kagome. Why are you asking me this?” He had never, at any time, said anything less or given her reason to think anything else.

 

Kagome shrugged. “Nothing.”

 

His eyebrows stayed down and he asked her the question he'd asked her at this exact spot before. “Are you happy, Kagome?”

 

Because staring down at her, she looked anything but happy. She looked distraught. She looked confused.

 

She looked broken.

 

It wasn't his business. Nothing between her and Inuyasha was. He respected a Mated pairs status—but he'd kill if Kagome wasn't happy. “What'd mutt face do?” Inuyasha had done something. He'd said something and Kouga would bet his tail it had something to do with Kikyou. The dead priestess had no excuse to be brought up whatsoever—she was in the past.

 

“Everything. Nothing.” Kagome shook her head. “It doesn't matter what I do, Kikyou is just...always there.” Kagome bit her lip, awkward when the words came past her lips. That wasn't something she should be saying to Kouga.

 

Silence surrounded them before Kouga spoke. “All you have to do is say the words, Kagome.” He murmured softly.

 

How was the conversation taking a turn so intimate and unthinkable?

 

“There's nothing to say, Kouga. You know that. You're just...easy to talk to.” Emotion flickered through his eyes, something she hadn't seen in a long time. She looked away.

 

Kouga gave a wry grin. That was nice to know, he thought sarcastically. He lifted her hands again and pressed them together. He brought them to his mouth and kissed her knuckles. “Go home, Kagome.” He didn't know where the action came from. He just wanted to do it. He wanted her gone because he didn't want to be the person she told her problems to. Not when they involved Inuyasha.

 

Kagome stood there when Kouga turned and started in the opposite direction. She wrapped her arms around her middle and the sudden chill. “She's always in the way. I can't even be Marked.”

 

Kouga didn't stop, just kept going. But she saw the way his shoulders visibly tensed before he disappeared into the tree line.

 

-Your reviews mean the world to me-

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


	5. Chapter 5

 

When Kagome opened her eyes, Inuyasha was there. He'd been there since dawn, waiting for her eyes to open. He was perched on his knees beside the make-shift pallet where she'd slept the night before. The look on his face was apologetic. She knew what he was going to say before he even said it.

 “You didn't have to sleep on the floor...I'm sorry.”

 

 He was sorry. He was apologizing again. Again. Every night after he turned human he apologized. It was something she was growing to expect. Instead of saying anything, this time all she did was nod. She usually voiced that everything was alright.

 

 All she did was nod and rolled onto the opposite side, facing away from him. She didn't want his apology. He must have known, because he reached out to touch her shoulder but his hand paused inches from doing so before he stood.

 

His bare feet padded on the floor boards before the outside stairs creaked and then silence filled the hut.

 

Kagome stared at the opposite wall, her head pillowed on her arm. He couldn't keep apologizing to her. She wasn't going to let him. The thought was clear in her mind. She was tired of Inuyasha's apologetic games, she was tired of the comparison that he said wasn't there.

 

Thoughts from the night before came back and she closed her eyes. Sango and Kouga were the only two people outside of Inuyasha that she had ever opened up to. Her other didn't count. She wasn't so sure that Inuyasha even counted. Their relationship was a whole different matter. But Sango and Kouga? Sango knew secrets about her that not even Inuyasha knew. Kouga knew them because he'd witnessed them.

 

He knew things that he shouldn't know.

 

She winced at the reminder of how she had spilled her heart out to him. She hadn't meant to, but she'd just been so...angry with a dead woman. A dead woman, could you believe that? It didn't make sense. Kouga hadn't laughed at her. He'd stood there and listened without rebuke. Inuyasha would have told her there was nothing to talk about and would have bounded off into the trees.

 

Kouga had attended to her wounded palms and listened.

 

Why was he so nice to her? She hadn't even been that good of a friend to him.

 

She'd admitted to the one thing that Kouga had no business hearing from her lips. He may not have understood what those words had meant, but he'd heard them he was going to muse over them. She could have soothed herself with the thought that he hadn't heard the words. But he'd tensed when she'd spoken them.

 

Maybe he understood all too well.

 

Where was Inuyasha?

 

He was going to Kikyou's grave like he did every morning.

 

Kagome kicked the covers back with fever and jumped to her feet, her heart pounding. She took off running through the door barefoot and down the wooded path. She remembered what she had done to Kikyou's roses and her expression twisted in horror. She couldn't let Inuyasha see that. As much as she disliked Kikyou's memory, she didn't deserve that and Inuyasha certainly didn't.

 

Pebble stones dug into the heels of her bare feet and she skidded to a halt, her heart in her throat at the sight of Inuyasha. He was already there and was staring at the view beneath Kikyou's archway.

 

The roses and vines weren't strewn about as they had been last night. She didn't see the vines, but all the roses that were still intact were gathered beneath the archway in a neat pile. The roses were lined up in a center-less circle and in her time, she could have easily imagined them perched atop a tombstone.

 

She hadn't...

 

Kouga.

 

He'd come back last night. He'd corrected the damage done by her hands.

* * *

 

 What the hell did Kagome mean she couldn't be Marked?

 

The thought played itself over in his mind as Kouga flipped Sango's son backwards over his head, teaching him the fine lines of dodging an enemy as mother and father watched from a distance. He was enjoying himself and he was sure the boy was having more fun than he was letting on.

 

What the fuck did she mean she couldn't be marked?

 

He'd played it over in his mind over and over and still it didn't make sense. All night and through the morning the thought had plagued his mind. _What the hell did she mean she couldn't be Marked?_

 

His lips firmed into a thin line. There was only one thing that came to mind when he thought of _Marked_ and the mutt better have done his job. His blue eyes narrowed as he dodged a thin blade thrown his way. Kagome had better be Marked. The mutt had had plenty of time. By the God's, what the FUCK did she mean by that?

 

He was thoroughly dumb founded and the thought was leaving him irked.

 

He laughed loudly as the boy suddenly kicked his shin and Kouga went down to one knee. “That's not fighting fair, boy.”

 

“I brought you down, didn't I?”

 

He couldn't hear Miroku laughing in the background as he suddenly launched himself forward and caught the boy under the arms and threw him over his shoulder. The boy beat back and then grabbed his tail and Kouga gave a playful growl. “Now who's down?”

 

He could imagine himself training his own pups in this manner. Laughing, growling and pulling at his tail in an attempt to get their way. Maybe someday...

 

No.

 

He dumped the boy over his shoulder from behind. He held onto his tail and threatened to swing back and forth. Kouga gave another mock growl but let the boy have his fun. He looked at the pregnant Sango and the way she was casually leaning against her boomerang. “You're not gonna hit me with that thing again, are you?” He was still wondering why she'd done it in the first place. Kouga knew he was hard headed, but why was he suddenly an idiot? He hadn't done anything that he was aware of.

 

“At a later time, maybe.” Sango called out.

 

Kouga winced. She sounded a little too serious. He looked at Miroku. “Do you know what I did to piss her off?”

 

Miroku held his hands up, one holding the staff. “It's not my place to question what Sango does.”

 

Kouga almost snickered. Miroku knew his place and it was hiding behind his strong woman. The poor monk. He turned around and looked over his shoulder, wagging his tail from side to side. “How about getting this thing off my tail?”

 

“Looks pretty attached to me.”

 

Kouga's smile dropped at the sound of Kagome's voice and he turned his head. She was sitting on Sango's front porch with her elbows on her knees and her chin propped in her hands. He arched an eyebrow and reached behind and gave a tug to the back of the boys shirt.

 

Maybe he was attached.

 

Hell.

 

Sango beckoned with her hand and as if knowing his mother wouldn't take no for an answer, he let go of the fury tail and walked over to his mother. Kouga never would understand how Sango had her children in hand while Miroku had to plead. Something whistled through the air and Kouga turned his head.

 

He cursed and back flipped as Sango's boomerang flew past him. He knew the return method and rolled to the side, his eyebrows snapping down.

 

Sango lifted her hand and caught the boomerang one handed, her eyes trained on him.

 

“What the hell, woman? I didn't do anything.” Kouga muttered.

 

“Hormones.” Was the only reply he got.

 

He didn't know much about a humans pregnancy, but he did know what hormones were. They made women crazy. Human and demon alike.

 

He followed behind the growing family but kept his distance in case the slayer decided to take her hormones out on him again. Seeing Kagome, he looked around. “Where's mutt face?”

 

Kagome shrugged. “He's not here.”

 

Sango looked as if she wanted to hit him again and he dropped down to sit beside Kagome on the porch. He was pulling a Miroku here. She wouldn't hit him with Kagome so close to him. The front door closed, leaving him and Kagome to their fixtures and Kouga gave a mental sigh.

 

What the hell did she mean she couldn't be Marked?

 

“Thank you.” Kagome said. “For going back last night and...”

 

Kouga dropped his arms onto his knees. “Don't mention it.” He knew how much that place meant to her. Even he knew that Kagome hadn't meant to do it. Inuyasha was none the wiser to the damage.

 

Imbecile. As much as he wanted to think nice of the half demon, after every nice thought was an insult. He was sure Inuyasha did the same to him. He stood and turned to face her and offered his hand. “Walk with me. I want to ask you something.”

 

Kagome stared at his offered hand. It was tan and callused with surprisingly clean finger nails. She took his hand and he helped her to her feet. “What?” She pulled her hand away as soon as she was standing and followed him off the porch. He didn't take her in any one certain direction, just forward.

 

He didn't answer her right away, just kept walking until they were past the forest line not too far away. She was light, but she still heard her own footsteps moving over the ground. She barely heard his. He moved fleetingly, pushing low hanging branches further overhead so she could duck beneath them. “What is it?” She asked into the silence.

 

Kagome trusted few people in the feudal era. She knew that in these times, you couldn't afford to trust the wrong person. Kouga was one of the few people she trusted.

 

He didn't answer her, just kept his slow pace beside her. A stroll the park—er, woods—eh? His aura pushed at hers, strong and masculine.

 

He was annoyed.

 

“Hey.” She reached out when he moved a little quicker, ahead of her by two steps. She grabbed his forearm. “What's wrong?”

 

Kouga stopped, his tail twitching. He turned on his heel and towered over her. “What the hell did you mean you can't be Marked?”

 

Kagome stared up at him and her mouth dropped open. “What?”

 

“What the _hell_ did you mean when you said you can't be Marked?” Kouga repeated, his eyes narrowed.

 

Their conversation from the night before came back to mind. She didn't answer him. She couldn't.

 

“Answer me, Kagome. _Has_ mutt faced Marked you?” He asked incredulously. Kagome caught onto his hidden meaning and what he didn't say. _He hasn't_ , not has.

 

Kouga cursed loudly when her silence ensued and his expression darkened. He was angry. Kagome could feel it through his aura.

 

“Do I need to show the mutt how to properly Mark his mate?” Kouga said sourly.

 

Kagome balled her fists. It wasn't that simple.

 

He wasn't one prone to anger but when Kagome didn't answer him he leaned down and buried his face against her neck. His nose twitched, inhaling her skin before he pulled back to his full height. She smelled like Kagome. She also smelled like Inuyasha—but there was nothing to signal the scent of a _Mated pair._

 

His eyes narrowed further and Kouga bit the inside of his cheek. “Why are you here and the mutt isn't?”

 

“His name is Inuyasha, Kouga.”

 

Kouga stared down at her. She was reprimanding him? That was something she normally did to Inuyasha. He was on the receiving end this time.

 

“Why are you here and _Inuyasha_ isn't?” She still didn't answer him but she was starting to look uncomfortable. He had the feeling that this wasn't particularly any of his business—but he'd be damned if he didn't get an answer. Inuyasha and Kagome were going around playing house and Kagome wasn't entirely happy with the situation. And they weren't...

 

“ _Why aren't you Mated?”_ Kouga punctuated the words evenly, speaking the words that were the foremost on his mind. The truth. That was what he wanted in return from her.

 

Kagome slapped him.

 

The slap echoed around them and while Kouga barely felt the slap, a muscle in his jaw ticked. He waited in terse silence.

 

“You got your answer last night.” Kagome said, her palm throbbing from the slap. He didn't even look winded.

 

“Kikyou?” Kouga questioned and she didn't even have to answer that questioned name for him to know it was true. She'd said that Kikyou was always in the way. “And you're here alone because?”

 

Kagome turned away but Kouga caught her wrist and turned her back towards him. “Why hasn't he Marked you, Kagome?”

 

“Because he can't.” Kagome snapped out, her voice desperate. Kouga was domineering in what he wanted and he always had been. He wanted to know the answers to things he had no right to know. She hit his chest with her balled fist and felt nothing but the hard steel of his armor. “Because he gave everything he had to Kikyou. Everything. Do you know what that means?”

 

Kagome stared up at his terse expression. His eyes were dark. “I'm here because I need away from it all. All I ever hear is Kikyou. I'll always be her reincarnation.” Inuyasha wasn't happy about the fact that she had said she was going to stay with Sango for a few days. Because he knew why. She'd suddenly had it with his comparison of her and Kikyou. He knew it.

 

It honestly didn't hurt as much as it probably should have.

 

Kouga finally spoke, but his tone wasn't any less ominous. “Do you want me to kill him?”

 

Was he serious? Kagome gave a small laugh. “No. What I want is to be left alone.”

 

Kouga frowned. “You've never been second to me, Kagome.” His tone had softened.

 

That was it, wasn't it? She was second to Kikyou. She finally admitted it to herself. But she was messed up, wasn't she, that she wasn't entirely sure what to do about Inuyasha. They had a history that bi-passed all others.

 

“I'm not?” Kagome questioned him. “I'm second to Kikyou. Inuyasha wants me because I look like her, doesn't he? He cares for me in his own way, but that doesn't matter, does it? I'm being used, that's the truth, isn't it?”

 

Kagome hit his chest again. “And you? You used me, too, remember? Everyone wants something from me, right?”

 

Kouga snarled and moved so fast he was in her face. “I didn't use you.” He shook his head when she would have interrupted him. “You have _never_ been second to me.”

 

He lowered himself so that he was the same height as her. He opened his mouth to say something but instead tangled his hands in her hair and kissed her.

 

“Go home, Kagome. Go back to Sango's before I do something we'll both end up regretting. Because we both know you're not Mated. You're not Inuyasha's and you're not mine.”

 

Because the thing was—Kagome wasn't Inuyasha's. Not entirely. If she was, she wouldn't be with Sango. She wouldn't be out here with him.

 

She slapped him again. This time Kouga felt the mind sting and the fury behind it but he didn't do anything as she walked away, leaving him alone in the forest. He'd just learned the bitter truth of Kagome's sweet lies. He'd told himself what he was going to do if he was given the chance again. For her sake, he'd just let her go. Again. For all intents and purposes she was Inuyasha's...and he was trying to honor whatever kind of bond the two had. Even if it was little to nothing.

 

Mates, he thought sourly, were for life.

 

\--Your reviews mean the world to me--

 


	6. Chapter 6

It hadn't taken her long after their journey had begun for Kagome to realize that the boy she had fallen in love with had lost his heart long ago to another girl. That was plainly obvious. And then she'd met Kikyou. She had been a cold, human piece of clay. She'd tried to kill Inuyasha. She'd tried to kill her and their friends.

She'd also been an ally against Naraku. That was Kikyou's thread to them all, that she also wanted Naraku's evil gone from the world. The dead priestess had walked a fine line between good and evil. She'd wanted Inuyasha to keep his promise to follow her to hell. Inuyasha had wanted to keep that promise but in the end, he hadn't been able to.

Kagome wasn't so sure if it was because Kikyou had let him go from the promise, or because Inuyasha wanted to stay with HER.

Her life in the Feudal Era had never made sense. It didn't seem logical that a jewel and a Well could have caused so many problems. It didn't make any clearer sense now.

 A lot of it came down to Kikyou.

 “ _You're not Inuyasha's and you're not mine.”_

 Kouga's words came back to her. She wasn't Inuyasha's, was she? Inuyasha may want her to be his in some strange sense, but his soul belonged to a dead woman. Her heart longed for what Inuyasha wanted to give her. She wasn't Kouga's, either.

 Kagome tilted back the vile liquid that the Feudal Era deemed alcoholic. Funny, what did she know about alcohol? She'd never tasted it in the modern era.

 “ _You're not Inuyasha's and you're not mine.”_

 She'd never thought the day would come when Kouga said that and the knowledge suddenly left her nauseated. She wasn't a child and she knew good well why the thought bothered her. She cared about Kouga. She'd watched him grow from childish boyhood to a charming and steel cored man. From the very start he'd showered her with affection, risked his life for her and had given her whatever he was capable.

 A girl could lose it over a guy like that.

 It wasn't because he'd been her _first_. That had nothing to do with what she felt. He'd been her first, there was no changing that and she was going to remember him for that. She remembered Kouga for a lot of reasons that she didn't remember Inuyasha.

 God, why couldn't Kikyou have stayed dead?

 Why couldn't Kouga have just stayed out of her life?

 Why couldn't Inuyasha have had the will power to leave her?

 Fate had all pulled them in with a warped string, tying them all together. She was linked with Kikyou through reincarnation. Was that why she was destined to be Inuyasha's in body only?

 Kagome covered her face with her hands. Inuyasha had asked her—begged her—to think on what she was asking of him.

 The question was, what was she asking?

 Kagome lowered her hands and stared at the rounded bottle at her feet before picking it up and climbing out the window. She was going to have to apologize to Miroku for stealing from his not so secret stash. She stumbled through the window before righting herself and sliding down the sill.

 Kouga had told her to go home. She had. Probably for only an hour, but she had went. But she was suddenly too mopey and too hot just sitting there.

 Miroku had horrible taste. Whatever was in the bottle was an acquired taste. With each passing swig, it was becoming more acquired. It wasn't so bad but it left an awful burn in her throat before settling warmly in her empty stomach.

 She was going to trip over her own feet at his rate. Or maybe it was the tall blades of grass. That was absurd though. Her feet were more trippable and carrying her away from the serenity of Sango's _Home._ And it was there across the clearing that she saw Kouga reclining against the trunk of a tree with a stony expression on his face.

 She was going to be sick.

 She remembered how little food she'd ate and there was nothing but the alcohol in her system. She didn't see Kouga move. He was just there.

 He caught her arms and brought her down to her knees, grasping the back of her neck gently and pushed her head down between her knees. “Breath.” He ordered gruffly, but with a soft gentleness to undermine the hard tone.

 Kagome obeyed because she didn't know what else to do. Drinking on an empty stomach was never a smart thing to do. She took a deep breath and exhaled once. Breath. Again.

 Kouga hunched down beside her, peering into her face to make sure she was obeying him and that she wasn't going to puke at his feet. He didn't have to see the bottle in her hand to know she was on her way to being well and drunk. She reeked of it. He'd just seen her. How had she gotten drunk so quick?

 The near empty bottle said enough.

 “Better?” He murmured.

 Kagome nodded slowly because she didn't want to do anything else. She took another deep breath before lifting her head. Just her luck that she'd run into the one man she didn't want to see. He'd pissed her off and made her strangely happy at the same time. He could do that without even trying.

 “You shouldn't be drinking, Kagome, much less walking in the woods at night _drunk.”_

 “I'm not drunk. I'm tipsy.”

 “Tipsy?”

 Kagome sighed and shook her head. “Never mind.” He wouldn't understand _tipsy._ He was right, though. She highly doubted that even as powerful as she was, that she would be able to properly defend herself if someone or _something_ decided they wanted to attack her.

 Kouga corked the bottle wrapped her fingers back around the stem. “Go home, Kagome.” He said for the third time that night.

 “I was on my way when you stopped me.”

 He didn't see the irony or amusement. He couldn't even smile. “You were heading in the wrong direction then.”

 “I was taking a short cut.” Kagome stared up at his shadowed face. His hair was back up in a low pony tail, falling down his back.

 “You're drunk, Kagome. Go back.” Humans—the God's help their weak bodies but alcohol could control them in so little time.

 Didn't he get it? She didn't want to go back. She could do whatever she wanted out here. She could run, she could scream, she could even kick a tree for Christ's sake. “Why?” She asked sourly. “You're not going to protect me anymore?”

 Kouga didn't respond, just stared at her upturned expression. He'd always protect her.

 She lifted the bottle and eyed the empty contents. “Did you drink this when I wasn't looking? Are _you_ drunk?”

 Kagome threw the bottle at the Wolf Demon.

 The right corner of Kouga's mouth tilted upward. It was a small movement but it was there. He moved to the side, the bottle sailing past his shoulder. “Human spirits don't affect me, Kagome.”

 Her mouth fell open and if anything, she looked more angry. “What _does_ affect you?”

 One of his arms disappeared behind his back and when it came back, he was holding a small flask covered in fur. “This.” He said and tossed the flask towards her.

 Her hands lifted automatically when the object sailed towards her and she caught the light weight. Liquid sloshed inside and she tilted it upright and screwed the top off. Bringing it to her nose, she made a face before lowering it. “What...is that?”

 “Alcohol infused with demon blood.”

 “Your blood?” Kagome asked cautiously.

 “No.”

 Of course not. Why would he drink his own blood? Why would he drink anyone's blood? Kagome wanted to smack herself in the head. He was a Wolf Demon. He ate raw meat half the time. The juices that he liked so much in his meat was blood.

 She screwed the top off and lifted it to her lips.

 Kouga covered the top of the flask with his hand and pushed it away from her lips. “You've had enough. And I don't think you want to drink _that.”_ He took it away from her firm grasp but instead of putting it away he took a long and heavy swallow.

 He didn't so much as wince or cough. Kagome didn't know how he did it. He made it look so easy. She was a lousy drinker.

 “Now— _home_.” Kouga said evenly and turned her in the opposite direction. She was going to regret her actions in the morning.

 “I can do it, can't I, Kouga? Or is it wrong?” Her shoulders sank as she gave beneath the pressure of his hands and stumbled forward.

 “Do what and is what wrong?”

 “I don't belong with Inuyasha, do I?”

 Kouga sighed heavily. How was he supposed to answer that? He knew how he wanted to answer it. He knew how he would have answered it were he still a boy.

  _Hell no you don't belong with dog shit. You belong with me, as my woman._

 He thought the words now. Hell yes she belonged with him. She should have been with him, not the dog. In his mind, the words were true. There was no other for him and Fate had seen it fit to give away his woman, his mate to his foe.

 By the God's, he wanted her to be with Inuyasha. Why? _Why?_

 “I'm alright. I can do this. I _can.” I think I can, I think I can, I think I can..._ The words resounded in Kagome's mind. She needed to do it. Love had nothing to do with what she felt for Inuyasha. It was an infatuation that had grown over time. She gave a soft smile. “Being alone isn't so bad, is it?”

 Kouga couldn't stop the hope that filled him at her words, though clumsy and slurred they were. That was what he wanted to hear. But come morning? “You're not alone, Kagome.”

 “Aren't I? You said you didn't want me, either.”

  _You're not Inuyasha's and you're not mine._

 Kouga winced and muttered a “Fuck” as he spun on his heel and took another heavy swallow of the small flask before throwing the empty contents across the field. She'd misunderstood him because he had never made such a claim. He wanted her—all of her. Everything about her. He couldn't have any of that, not until she made a clean cut from Inuyasha. And that's what she was trying to do.

 “Fuck.” He whispered again and rubbed the bridge of his nose. The demons blood was moving through his veins, forced through by the spirits and he welcomed the mind numbing sensation. He lifted his head when he felt the press of Kagome's forehead against his back.

 “All I want to do is go home. All I want to see is my _mother._ I could get away from him. I could get away from you.” Her voice seemed to waver. “I don't think he'll let me go, though.”

 Kouga turned to face her. “If I could grant you passage through that Well, I would....and the dog can't keep you if you don't want to be kept.”

 Kagome frowned and went to her tip toes, sniffing at his lips. “Did you drink that...stuff? Are you intoxicated?”

 Kouga gave a wry grin. “I'm trying.” He tensed when she wrapped her arms around his waist and pressed her cheek against his chest. He didn't return the favor, his arms moving outward slightly in confusion.

 “I've thought about you when I shouldn't have.” She whispered. “I tried not to.”

 Kouga grimaced but couldn't bring himself to remove her. He'd have to touch her to do that. “I'm not a rebound for the dog, Kagome.”

 It was Kagome who pulled back, but still held onto him. She tilted her head back to stare up into his face. She blinked, her expression changing before the scent of salty tears reached his nostrils. “ _I love you.”_

 Kouga groaned and cursed again before his hands moved down and he jerked her against him, kissing her hard.

 

-Your reviews mean the world to me-

 

 

Author's Note:

 

I don't want this to seem like one of those relationships where the girl just can't let go. She's ready to let go of Inuyasha. She realizes that she doesn't love him. But you have to remember, this is in a whole different time. Relationships mean something different in the Feudal Era.

 

Kouga has always been there for Kagome. She knows that.

 

Don't worry, we will have a happy ending! We just needed the angst, drama and turmoil.

 


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter Seven

The warmth from the sun on her bare back woke her. It had been so long since she'd actually slept outdoors and not beneath the roof of a small built hut. There was no reason for her to enjoy the medieval forms of house, but she enjoyed them none the less. Traveling through the Feudal Era had taught her that a night beneath the stars was just as comfortable as a night beneath a blanketed hut. 

Kagome sighed, feeling mildly ill and comfortable at the same time. Her head hurt. It wasn't throbbing, just a mild ache that reminded her of the alcohol she'd consumed the night before. 

Something grumbled above her head, more of a purr and Kagome turned her head and pressed her cheek against the rumbling. Hard. Warm. She inhaled and the grumbling followed her inhalation, mimicking her breathes. It somehow soothed the morning nausea of a night spent drinking, though it didn't dim fully. 

She opened her eyes slowly, blinking against the sunlight heating her skin. What she saw beneath her head was smooth, muscle rippled tanned skin. It wasn't Inuyasha's pale skin, this was darker, warmer. 

She frowned and lifted her head off the expanse of tanned muscle. She was nestled between two muscular thighs and she'd been blissfully unaware of the world growing to life around them, her cheek pressed against his abdomen as she slept. Something warm pressed against her left breast and Kagome pushed herself upward, realizing she was naked. A semi hard cock rested peacefully between her breasts from the movement, unaware of where it had precariously rested the night...among other places. 

Her face twisted and Kagome could feel the dread and confusion as she lifted her head.

Kouga. 

He slept peacefully beneath her, just as equally naked and oblivious to the waking world around him. It wasn't hard to put two and two together and Kagome reeled back onto her knees, one arm rising in an attempt to hide her breasts. 

He must have sensed the sudden movement because she saw his muscles tense in wakefulness before he squinted up at her. His eyes dropped down to her naked shoulders and to the vain attempt she was using with her arm to hide her nakedness before he threw an arm over his eyes. 

“I finally have you in my arms again, and I can't even remember...” Kouga mumbled beneath his breath, just loud enough for her to hear. He could hear the increase in her heartbeat, but he remained the opposite. His mind was struggling to catch up and move past the sluggishness. What had happened to finally drive them back into each others arms? They'd both been inebriated.

He mentally cursed himself. He remembered their conversation beforehand but not much of anything afterward...there were bits and pieces but nothing of what he wanted to remember...

Forearm still over his eyes, his nose twitched as he sniffed the air. He could smell the combined scents of their bodies. Yes, they had definitely engaged in something the previous night. He could smell her on his body. He could smell himself on hers. 

He must have made his Spirits stronger than he'd thought, cause the God's knew he couldn't remember a damn thing where it counted. His lips firmed when something soft and covered in fur hit his neither regions. He lifted his arm. 

Kagome was already dressed and tying a sash around her waist. Her hair was still ruffled and tangled, as if someone had thoroughly pulled and tangled the threads. His head fell back to the ground. He had—he just didn't remember doing the pulling. 

He remembered kissing her. 

He remembered her kissing him back. 

Touching him. Her hands sliding down before she straddled him and his claws dug into the pale skin of her back...

“I'm sorry.” Kagome said, bringing his attention right back to her. 

“Sorry? What are you sorry for?” Kouga said gruffly as he stood up. There was no point in delaying the conversation because they were going to have a conversation now. It had happened. There was no denying it. They had happened—again. Spirits involved or no, it had happened. 

Kagome looked away, her cheeks flushing when Kouga stood. He caught the furred material before it could fall to the ground and then turned his back. The Wolf Demon had absolutely no shame when it came to modesty. She could still see him out of the corner of her eye and her eyes darted back to his muscled back and his bared ass. His ass flexed as he stepped into the furred clothing and pulled it up over his nakedness. 

She knew what she had woken up to. With the both of them naked and her hair a tangled mess, it was easy to come to the conclusion. They'd had sex. 

Her and Kouga. 

Their history had just gotten bigger. 

She sure as hell didn't remember the sex part but everything around them lead to the conclusion and she wasn't naive enough to think otherwise. There wasn't an ounce of alcohol left in her system and she was sure, not in his system either. “For this. I didn't mean...” 

Kouga turned, his body bare except for the fur briefs covering his thighs. Her eyes dropped to the expanse of ridged abs bared for her view. Lord, but the man had a six pack that would have had her friends from the modern era drooling. She was certain she had drooled over them the night before, if not right before she had woken up. 

Kouga stood before her, unashamed of his half clad body as he jerked the band out of his hair and righted his own tangled hair before pulling his hair back up. “It happened, Kagome.” He said before she could continue. He didn't want her being sorry. He sure as hell wasn't and he said so. “Don't be—I'm not.” 

Kagome looked away. She knew he wasn't sorry, whether he had said it or not. She knew exactly how his mind worked and in his mind, he wanted her. This was exactly what he had wanted. She didn't for one minute think he had taken advantage of her inebriated state, though. She trusted him enough to know he wouldn't do that. 

Kouga righted his clothing and Kagome knew he was struggling to remember the events of the night before, but alcohol was a powerful thing. The thought disturbed him. A night that should have been remember was amiss. It would have been easier to bare if he had forced her but not only would Kouga not resort to that, Kagome could defend herself just fine against his demonic aura. 

She fidgeted. The knowledge of what had happened between them left her uncomfortable. She looked at Kouga again but she saw only acceptance. He wasn't forcing the issue between them. Within seconds he looked like the Kouga she saw on a near daily access. He didn't look as if they'd spent a night rolling around in the grass. 

Not only did she look it, but she felt it. 

Her cheeks heated. 

Oh, but she could feel it. The reminder was there between her thighs, a soreness that where she hadn't noticed before, she did now. 

“Kouga, please don't...tell anyone.” 

It sounded more like she was asking him not to tell anyone, then telling him. Kouga closed the distance between then and cupped her shoulders, his thumbs sliding over her shoulder bones through the clothing. “Hey, I'm not the type to brag, Kagome.” 

She didn't see the humor he was trying to get across and Kouga wrapped his arms around her, pulling her into his muscled body. He heaved a sigh and hugged her before she could stop him. “I won't, Kagome. This is between the two of us.” 

“It's just...things are complicated enough as it is. I don't do one night stands and I don't want things to be awkward between us anymore.” She spoke the truth without hesitation. Her and Kouga used to be friends. They still were, but it was growing more and more strained. Why? Why? Why was it so hard to want to be close to Kouga, but also so far away? 

And Kouga, he responded in a typical Kouga fashion. “What's a one night stand?”

She gave a soft laugh against the fur covering his chest, she just couldn't help it. “Never mind. You wouldn't understand.” She pulled out of the loose ring of his arms, the smile still on her face as she looked up at him. 

Kouga arched an eyebrow. “It's one of those things from your time, isn't it?” 

She nodded. “Yes. You wouldn't understand.” She was sure he would understand, though, if she told him exactly what it was. She just couldn't imagine herself explaining it though. Talking about sex was the last conversation she wanted to have with him. They'd just had this conversation. 

“I would, if you'd talk to me about it.” He wasn't just talking about a one night stand, either. He was talking about her time in general. He would hang onto every word she said as spoke of her time. 

Kagome shook her head, but she was still smiling fondly. 

“You can tell me about some of it, or I'll see it myself eventually.” 

His jaw was shadowed with stubble and Kagome was tempted to stroke it but she held back the urge. “You'll live that long?” 

“If I'm careful.” 

That meant that Kouga was going to live for five hundred years. Maybe more. “It's amazing that you Demons can live so long.” 

Kouga gave a soft, fanged grin and brushed the hair back from her face. “You could, Kagome.” Kouga damned the weak connection she had with Inuyasha. It was breaking, he could see that. What hurt him was the fact that Inuyasha was still on her mind. 

But so was he. 

Kagome was still here. She hadn't ran away the moment she'd woken tangled with his body. It wasn't like the first time between them. This time, he'd made a statement in her life. A mark on her, even if no one could see it. Her previous life was changing and the fragile bond they had started so long ago was finally...growing. 

He didn't know exactly how, but she was here...and he pulled her back into his arms. 

“I can't promise you anything, Kouga. You know that.” Kagome said softly, reading the expression on his face. It almost broke her heart, the hope he couldn't hide, but the dismay in what he knew might never be his. 

“I know that.” Kouga said and cupped the side of her neck. “But that doesn't mean I can't hope.” Kouga knew he was only hurting himself by leaning down. But she was so soft and pliant against him. She was so willing. He brushed his lips against hers. He thought he could control the feeling, the emotions moving through him but he was a liar. 

When he kissed her, he knew he couldn't not fight for her. Her drift from Inuyasha...by God, he wanted her to hate the half demon. 

Kagome knew he was going to kiss her and for the life of her, she didn't move. He probably had kissed her last night, but when his tongue swept over her lips and sought entrance, his taste exploded on her taste buds. It was achingly familiar, brought so even more by the dim memory of the night before. And a once upon a time long ago...

He tasted the same and Kagome sank against him, unable to help herself. The kiss didn't last long, though. She broke it before it could go any further and turned her head away, her cheek pressed against the hot skin of his chest. Whether it was the intimacy of knowing what they'd done, or something else altogether, she didn't know. 

“Just don't...I can't promise anything.” She said again.

“I can.” Kouga murmured against her hairline and Kagome gave a soft laugh. Her eyes slid closed. He'd just made a silent degree that she read into all too well. He knew he was being given an opening and he was taking it. 

“I need to go. If Sango hasn't realized I'm gone already, she'll wonder when I walk in.” 

He took her shoulders again and turned her away from him, pushing her a step forward. “Then go, because I really want to kiss you again.” 

Kagome took off towards Sango's hut in the distance. She felt...happy. The present was going to come crashing down on her, but for now, she felt...content.


	8. Chapter 8

Kagome sank chin down into the steaming water, the rest of her body submerged. She stared at the opposite wall, elated and terrified at the same time. She was excited at the prospect of...

 What?

 She didn't know.

 The good things in life never lasted. They waned and came back, but they weren't permanent. Where there was good times, there were bad and where there were bad, there was always good. It was the circle of life.

 She felt as if she'd committed a sin but at the same time, the secret thrilled her. A secret that she was going to take to the grave. She groaned and bubbles rose around her mouth under the water and she closed her eyes, sinking below the surface.

 Thank God for boiling water and bathtubs. Not completely modern, but a bathtub was still a bathtub.

 Kouga had stood there watching her as she _fled._ There was no other word for it. She'd run. She'd _fled._ He'd watched her, his arms crossed over his chest. By the time she'd reached Sango and Miroku's hut, her lungs had been burning and her legs aching.

 They'd started a night long affair that had given Kouga hope and left Kagome with an undying affection that she had no hopes of even understanding. What was she going to do? Nothing. There was nothing she could do. Where things had been tense between them, now they were just down right awkward. To her, at least.

She sank back beneath the water, her hair floating an inky blackness over the surface as she remembered just how awkward her life. She'd hitched a leg over the back window of Sango's hut and _Miroku_ had been there. He'd cleared his throat and she'd fallen onto the wooden planks.

 He'd stared at her strangely. She'd been guilty and caught. Miroku may not have known the extent of how guilty she was, but he'd caught her. Doing what, the monk would never know. Really, the monk seemed to have a bad tendency to be in the wrong place at the wrong time.

 He didn't speak to her.

 He didn't question her and she didn't antagonize him.

 Kagome came up for air and tilted her head back against the wooden rim of the tub. If she lied to Sango, the slayer would know. So she chose not to say anything. It was easy enough, or just to defer the conversation away from anything concerning Kouga.

 She never had been good at lying.

 Her whereabouts the night before? Sango was curious. Had she spent the night with Inuyasha? He'd made it clear he was trying to make amends. She didn't want to hear his amends and after last night, even less.

 There was nothing left to _mend._

 What a messed up little love triangle she was in. And the worst part was, the company she wanted wasn't Inuyasha's. Not even Sango or Miroku's.

 It was Kouga.

 She closed her eyes. That could go to a Wolf Demons head.

 She'd always been attracted to the demon brute. He'd always been there. He'd always been in the background until _then_ and NOW. It wasn't the sex. Good sex could cloud the mind. Great sex could screw it up completely. But she didn't remember the sex, did she? She was just completely and inexplicably crushing on the Wolf Demon.

 She groaned again.

 What would her mother have said? She was always good at helping to understand.

 “ _I would, if you'd talk to me about it.”_

 There Kouga had went being Kouga again. He wouldn't have understood a word she meant, much less cars or ice cream, but he would have listened regardless.

 Dammit.

 The frustration, all the lies, deceits and secrets—Kagome washed them away, submerging and scrubbing her body until she swore her skin was about to melt off. Did she smell like Kouga? There was nothing she could do about it? She couldn't keep soaking the scent away. It wasn't that easy. She grimaced.

 God, she wished she could remember. She hated herself for wanting to remember, but he was Kouga...and Kouga...

  _She couldn't stop the sigh that passed her lips, but it wasn't one of annoyance. It was contentment. She didn't want to feel it, but she did. Utter satisfaction. She couldn't move a muscle and the warmth of his body cocooned her in a world all of their own making. There was no one else, just the two of them. The warmth of his body was luring her to sleep and before she realized it her eyes were drifting shut. She felt a soft rumble against her back..._

_Was he purring?_

There were certain memories that were always going to have a place in her heart. Certain aspects of him that were always going to take priority over other aspects.

“Stop it before you get yourself into even more trouble.” Kagome said to herself as she stepped out of the iron, wooden rimmed tub. She picked up a towel and wrapped it around her body while she used another on her hair.

She felt better. A hot soak could do that to a person. Stepping into a fresh kimono, Kagome cinched it tight around the waist. She was tempted to make herself a pair of shorts one of these days, but she didn't want to give Miroku a nose bleed. As much as the monk loved his slayer, his eyes wandered, even if he never thought or touched.

“ _What the hell do you think you're doing?”_

“ _What I'm doing doesn't concern you, mutt. Now get.”_

“Um...” Miroku said and Kagome paused with one foot in the kitchen, one hand towel drying her hair.

She paused and her hair fell over one shoulder as she lowered the towel. She frowned. Miroku stood with the door open while Sango stood beside him—blocking the entrance. She folded her arms, staring down into a blue eyed Kouga one step beneath her.

“Kagome here?”

Of course she was here. He knew she was here. Why in God's name was he _here?_ Kagome could feel her cheeks heating as she stepped forward. She was so innocent in her soul, she couldn't not blush when she saw him.

Inuyasha was one step blow him, looking agitated. She sent an apologetic but thankful look to Sango that the slayer hadn't let either men inside. She had the feeling that Kouga was the only reason Inuyasha hadn't already barged in. Kouga—his honor wouldn't allow him to disgrace Sango's home by entering unwanted.

Shit.

This was hard enough, why couldn't Kouga just make it easier on them both and pretend? How was she going to pretend nothing had happened if every time she saw him, she got tongue tied and blushed like the school girl she'd once been?

She opened her mouth but Kouga looked over Sango's shoulder and then stepped to the side so he could see her fully. Her mouth closed when she saw the numerous floweres he held clenched on one fist.

“Hey.” Kouga said, as if what he was doing was nothing. Completely innocent. “These are...for you.”

“ _What the fu—hell you doing, Kouga? You can't give give her those.”_ Inuyasha blasted out from behind Kouga and Kagome could make out his silver strands of hair and dog ears swivling. He'd changed his use of words for Sango's benefit. He'd learned once the hard way Sango wasn't prone to his foul language. So had Kouga.

Kouga ignored Inuyasha completely and gave a small smile. He looked tense, almost awkward but he didn't back up from his stance. He held the flowers out.

Kagome stared. He was...making a complete and irreversible move on her. It was clear for everyone to see. Oh God. He'd told her that he had hope. And he was proving it. Horror filled her expression. Want. Want and horror.

“Like old times, eh?” Miroku said tensly, looking at Sango.

Kagome reached out and shut the door in Kouga's face, her heart thundering in her ears.

* * *

 

 

Kouga stared at the closed door. Of all the things he had expected, that wasn't it. A flustered Kagome, perhaps, but not the Kagome who had all but slammed the door in his face just now. His lips twitched. The flowers had been a prone of the moment. He wasn't thinking about the past or even the future. He had been thinking about the here and now when he'd picked them.

Was he making another run for Kagome? Probably. She wasn't a kept woman. But she could be. She could be his. So here he was and he'd been met with a slammed door.

And Inuyasha? Well, he was really starting to get on his nerves. He half turned. “If you touch me one more time, Inuyasha, I'm going to throw your ass across that field. Got it?”

“You can't tread on anothers Mate.” Inuyasha muttered, baring his fangs.

Kouga stared at the mutt. Mate? Was the half demon really gearing up to fight him right now? _Mate?_ How dare he even _say_ the word in reference to Kagome. Kagome wasn't Inuyasha's Mate anymore than Aayme was his. “Stop acting like a bitch in heat.”

He was tempted to say more, but refrained. It would do no good to continue to upset the mutt, much less Kagome or even Sango from the fight that would ensue. He was more afraid of Sango using that weapon on him in a fit of rage than the mutt.

The clock was going back in time, but they weren't the ones moving this time. It's like they were old rivaleries again.

“Say that again, I dare you.”

Kouga sighed. Sometimes he wondered if Inuyasha really had grown any. The Half-Demon wanted a fight and Kouga wanted to give it to him. He'd hand it to Inuyasha, though. For once Inuyasha was willing to fight for her. In the past he wouldn't have.

He lifted his head when the door opened again and Kagome stood there, framed in the entrance. She reached out her hand without a word and took the boquet of flowers and then shut the door in his face. He stood there in stunned silence, staring at his now empty hand before a soft laughter rumbled in his chest.

He shouldered past a silently fuming Inuyasha, the satisfied amusement clear on his face.

Inuyasha latched onto his forearm and Kouga half turned from the movement.

“She's not yours, Kouga.” Inuyasha said and for once, he didn't sound like a child. He was serious. He was under the delusion that Kagome was still and fully _his._

“Doesn't look like she's yours, either.” Kouga retorted, his voice low.

“She's been _mine_ for the past three years. MORE. Or have you forgotten?”

A muscle ticked in his jaw. Was Inuyasha trying to hit on a sore note with that one? The answer to that was yes. Yes, with a shitty side of shit in the face. “Why is Kagome in there with Sango and Miroku, instead of you, Inuyasha?” Kouga didn't pause in his retort. He gave as good as he got. “Looks to me like she's done with you.”

He could have chosen a more tactful response, something designed to insult Inuyasha and draw his fire. Kouga knew better and knew that if he was going to get anywhere with Kagome, he couldn't draw the first punch. Who was the better man here? Not boy, but _man._ The thing was, he didn't want to fight with Inuyasha. He was past those days. He just didn't like Inuyasha chasing after Kagome like a love-sick puppy.

He wasn't exactly fighting for Kagome, either. Hell, he wasn't sure what he was doing. He wasn't going to walk out of Kagome's life again, but what outside of that?

He was still figuring that out.

“She chose me, you mangy wolf. Why can't you get that through that thick skull of yours?”

Kouga jerked his arm out Inuyasha's firm grasp. He was tired of the less than tactful insults on Inuyasha's part. But it was Inuyasha's last sentence that had his eyebrows snapping down. “Who did _you_ choose, Inuyasha? Because it sure as hell wasn't Kagome.”

He turned away before he did do something stupid like knock Inuyasha on his ass. It wouldn't have surprised him if the humans inside were watching the scene playing between him and Inuyasha.

He hadn't intended on saying _that_ , but Inuyasha had finally hit that sore spot inside. Whether it was a sore spot for him or a sore spot for Kagome, he didn't know. Whatever it was, he'd spoken what was on his mind.

Inuyasha dropped down in front of him and Kouga frowned. Was he going to have to beat the shit out of Inuyasha?

“What did she say to you...?” Inuyasha asked cautiously, his expression all at once serious. Was that guilt he saw?

“She didn't have to say anything.” He left it at that. He wasn't going to say what Kagome had in all trust confided in him. “Leave her alone, Inuyasha. You had your chance.”

“And what, you think this is your chance to make her your woman?”

Kouga snorted. Was that how he'd sounded years ago everytime he'd made that claim? “I don't think she wants to talk to either of us, you idiot. So leave her alone. All you're doing is driving her further away. Is that what you want?”

Because that was sure as hell what he wanted for Inuyasha. The thought was a shameful one, but one he didn't regret. “Leave. Her. Alone. She's a woman—she'll talk when she's ready and not a moment before. Got it?”

He didn't wait for Inuyasha to reply. He didn't have time to argue with the half-breed. He bounded off into the tree line and up into the trees, heading for his Den. He wasn't going to argue for Kagome's affections. That didn't mean he wasn't going to fight for them, though. He just wasn't sure about how to go about it this time around though. He could stand by and watch her live her life, or he could take the chance and make a bid for her heart.

He was a powerful Wolf Demon, a breed of wolf and a Den Leader. Even with all that, he wasn't sure he could live with the pain of heartbreak again.

  


 


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter Nine

 

The sun was still full in the sky when Kouga had shed his armor and passed out on the furs that made his bed. Between restless nights, Kagome and pack business, he was in sore need of good news. Not to mention sleep. Day or night, it didn't really matter. The others would make it without him for a few hours.

 As much as he struggled to hold onto the sleep that had pulled him under, something sweet was pulling him back to the surface. His nose twitched at the familiarity.

 Kagome.

 Her scent was translucent, but still there. And so was she. He inhaled again, dragging her into his lungs and turned onto his side. “I'm not even going to ask why you're here.” He muttered groggily and pulled her warm body into the shelter of his arms, cushioning his body against her back and tangling his legs with hers.

 He had the distinct feeling that this wasn't why she'd come. She wanted to talk? Well, she was just going to have to wait. Maybe it was the flowers. Maybe it was that last night they'd spent tangled in each others arms and bodies. He didn't care. It wasn't the first time Kagome had sidled up to him for comfort. His or hers.

 Kagome had a kind heart and where a kind heart was concerned, it never ended well.

 He inhaled again and brought a fistful of her hair to his nose. He could still smell her on the tips of his fingers from where she'd brushed his hand when she'd taken the flowers. Her scent lingered but it was weak, fading into nothing.

 His nose twitched.

 He opened his eyes.

 Kouga stared down at the auburn hair clenched in his fist and looked down at the body spooned against his. His lips curled into a silent snarl and he tensed. He didn't remember falling asleep but judging by the position of the sun, he'd slept a good portion of the day away.

 His chest rumbled as he released her hair and braced a clawed hand against the small of her back and shoved her away from him. What right did she have to be in _his_ bed? She wanted his respect but she was losing it with every day that passed.

 He heard the sickening sound of her body hitting the opposite stone wall and he cursed, clearing the distance between them in a single bound. “God dammit, Aayme.” Kouga snarled and cupped her head in his hands, tilting her head back and away from him as he examined her face and then her neck. “Are you alright?”

 He was her _Alpha—_ not a brute. He moved his hands over her body, pressing them against her ribcage and then around to her back.

She brushed his hands away and right the fur over her shoulders, brushing the small pebbles that had fallen into her tangled hair. “Just my pride.” She said with a small laugh.

 Kouga winced. There was no “just” when it came to pride. Not for a Wolf Demon. Pride was everything. “Dammit. Aayme...” He said again. If it wasn't one thing, it was another and Aayme was an increasingly _other._

 He rubbed the bridge of his nose and closed his eyes. What was he going to do with her?

 What was he going to do about Inuyasha?

 What was he going to do _with_ Kagome?

 He was level with Ayame so he didn't have to bend down to peer into her eyes. “You need to stop, Ayame. Now.” He didn't like the loss of control. Shit like that happened everyday—it was a way of life. But he was an Alpha—her Alpha—and he couldn't take his anger out on her like that. That was his pride on the line.

 If he didn't have control, what good was he for the Pack?

 As often as she disobeyed him, he let her. That was the problem. He let her. It was a problem he didn't want to face. It was easier to just pretend and ignore the face of innocence begging for his attentions when he knew his attentions lied elsewhere. He grimaced. Sooner or later, that was going to case problems. Ayame was steadily becoming a problem that he didn't want to face. That was the steadfast truth.

 The Pack saw it constantly, the way Ayame acted as if she was the Luna of their pack.

 Sooner or later he would have to deal with her.

 He would rather later than now.

 He didn't _not_ like her. Ayame was _pretty._ She just wasn't the one for him. Perhaps if he hadn't met Kagome. But he had met Kagome.

 He sighed heavily when she crawled beside him and then positioned herself kneeling beside him. He read nothing in her position other than submission. Smart girl, he thought.

 She did, however, speak.

 “The Elders have been gathering.” She said.

 He pinched the bridge of his nose this time. “I'll deal with them.” He was doing it more often than not in a years time span. What he did or how he ran his Pack was his decision. As long as he kept them safe and prospering, he didn't see a problem. He was doing both.

 He scrubbed a hand down his face, his shoulders sagging. “What am I going to do with you, Ayame?” As often as she pissed him off, he couldn't stand the thought of hurting her. That was an insult to his pride and heritage.

 “Don't answer that.” He added.

 She obeyed his command and bowed her head in a form of submission. Knowing her, though, submission wasn't what she had in mind. Not for long. Out of respect for him as Alpha, she was keeping her mouth shut.

 He exhaled. “You have a role, Ayame. I suggest you start abiding by it.” All he wanted to do was lead and rule his pack. It wasn't that hard. They had to follow him without question and they had done so for numerous years.

 With regret already taking place, he pulled Ayame into his arms and settled her against his side, wrapping an arm around her shoulders. The girl was madly in love with him and the insignificant promise he'd made to her. When was she going to let that go? It wasn't logical or warranted.

 “I know, it's just that....” Ayame murmured, her head tilting down.

 Kouga shook his head. “Don't ruin the moment, Ayame.” So much for their non-existent truce. He didn't let her go, though, just sat near Indian style. The moment was completely innocent for him and knowing how she was probably taking it, his consciousness ate at him. She was good at making him feel guilt where she was concerned. Where Kagome was concerned, there was no guilt involved. If Ayame got hurt because she refused to believe his attentions for Kagome, that was her own failure.

 How many times had he warned her?

 She shifted against his side and wrapped her arms around his waist, linking her fingers behind his back. Ayame didn't care what he said or how he said it. That was who she was. Just as willful and just as foolish. He sighed and returned her hug half-heartedly.

 “I'm sorry about how I've treated you lately, okay?” He said because he owed her that much. He was frustrated and angry and Ayame just happened to be on the receiving end.

 Too bad a certain half-demon mutt wasn't in the same position.

 Ayame dropped her auburn head against his shoulder. “I'm alright. I'll live.”

 Sometimes he really was clueless, wasn't he? He was hurting for Kagome, but wasn't Ayame hurting for the very same reason?

 She was definitely a wolf, though, because she never backed down. She turned her head and kissed his shoulder but kept her body from touching his fully. There was nothing sexual in her touch or body, but her intent was clear. She wanted that small intimacy.

 She'd done worse. A lot worse than an innocent kiss to the shoulder.

 One of her hands moved idly to stroke his chest and he caught her wrist. “You're ruining the moment, girl.” That had the desired effect because she tensed beneath his arm.

 “I'm not a girl.”

 Kouga looked down at her. “Then stop acting like one.” She was always trying to prove herself, her worth and that she was everything he needed in a mate. She probably was, but his heart and pride wasn't in the same place as hers.

 “You're the one that...” Ayame started and Kouga almost let a chuckle loose because she would have argued the point with him.

 She turned her head and inhaled, sniffing at his arm and then she jumped over his gently restrained arm so that she was in front of him. Kouga reached out and gripped her forearms when she nose-dived into his chest, sniffing at his collarbone.

 “ _What_ are you doing?”

 “You smell like _her.”_ Ayame said, sniffing against his bared chest again, as if to reassure herself that what she said was undeniably true. “You _smell like her.”_ She said again and her words came out low and hauntingly. Accusing.

 Kouga tensed and set her back away from him. He almost lifted his arm and would have smelled himself, but he believed her. Her look was too accusing. Too disbelieving.

 He smelled like Kagome. How could he have forgotten that? He had no reason to wash her scent from his body and while the thought hadn't even crossed his mind, to be honest, he had nothing to hide. Not from Ayame, anyways. From Inuyasha, perhaps. Maybe even his pack.

 Maybe _even_ Ayame.

 “I'm around the humans plenty enough.”

 “That's not what I said. You smell like _her.”_

 “I'm around _her_ plenty enough.”

 She kept her shoulders beneath his, but Kouga had the feeling she was rearing up over him on the inside, trying to assert her feminine dominance. Her eyes were burning and what he saw wasn't tears. She was angry.

 His eyes narrowed. “Leave her alone, Ayame.”

 It wasn't that he didn't trust Ayame where Kagome was concerned. He didn't think she was that foolish. His entire pack knew he _respected_ Kagome so in turn, they respected her. She had earned their respect and more. But Ayame had caused problems before. She was prone in making it common knowledge that SHE was Kouga's intended.

 Good times, good times...

 “It's not what you think.” Kouga finally broke down and sighed, running a hand down his face. He couldn't afford to let her think otherwise.

“More like smell, Kouga.” The tang of jealously echoed in her voice.

 He grimaced. Smell. He smelled like Kagome. She was all over his body. How could _he_ have missed that? “I'm around her all the time, Ayame. In her home—with Inuyasha.” He felt the need to add and the dogs name tasted sour in his mouth. Inuyasha. Another stain on his soul. He knew his words were ringing home, even if Ayame still doubted what he said.

 If he was good at anything, it was avoidance.

 “I like you, Ayame. You're in my pack for a reason, not just because of your skill. Don't make me regret that.” Kouga stood and pulled Ayame to her feet. He leaned down and kissed her forehead again before pushing her towards the entrance of the cave and outside.

 


	10. Chapter 10

It wasn't in Kouga's character to give a shit about what others thought about him. Kagome was the only exception. He didn't hide from the crushing reality of his responsibilities. He wasn't Alpha for his strength alone. He'd fought and won his position as Alpha. He may not run his Pack in the traditional manner, but they were prospering.

 He wasn't afraid of hurting Ayame's feelings, but he was afraid of Ayame starting something that he was going to have to finish. Ayame knew something had happened between him and Kagome. To what extent, it didn't really matter. She knew. Ayame wasn't the type of Wolf Demon to tether her feelings and if she chose to bring to light what she was suspicious of, Kagome would be the recipient. His pride would be on the line, but Kagome's would be shattered.

 It all came down to the fact that if he over-reacted, Kagome would possibly be on the receiving end.

 So he knew he had to deal with Ayame accordingly. Respect and honor came hand in hand. He'd warned her and his _Leave her alone_ was all the warning needed. Leave well enough alone. He wouldn't tolerate a threat to any human under his watch, much less to Kagome.

 There wasn't a single person alive outside of Kagome and himself that knew Kagome was in an undeserving position. God dammit, but she _was_ deserving of what she wanted.

 His jaw clenched. He'd made his position clear and Ayame had submitted.

 He skidded to a halt in the forest, dead leaves kicking up behind him as he reached the small hut. Inuyasha's voice reached him, followed by Sango's and then Kagomes. He turned the corner and saw Kagome kneeling on the ground. His eyebrows snapped down when Kagome coughed, gagging before wiping her mouth on the sleeve of her kimono.

 “What happened?” He snapped out and sank to his knees beside her, cautiously touching her back.

 “Get your hand off her, you mutt.” Inuyasha said and latched onto Kouga's wrist.

 “Don't touch me, Inuyasha.” Kouga said evenly, ignoring Inuyasha completely. He could feel Kagome's body tense beneath his hand, but it wasn't from his touch. She vomited a small amount of saliva, coughing again. “God dammit, _what's wrong_ with her?”

 Kagome shook her head and squeezed her eyes shut. What was Kouga doing here? She hadn't even felt him approach. She lifted a hand and pointed towards the basket she'd held and opened her mouth but spit again.

 “It's the mushrooms. They're poison, I think.” Sango said from her kneeling position beside Kagome on the opposite side. She held Kagome's hair back. “She always tries them to make sure they're not poison.”

 “I couldn't let Sango do it.” Kagome finally managed to speak, breaking the terse silence on her part. Sango was nearly nine months pregnant.

 “And you let her?” Kouga asked, but his question was directed at Inuyasha. Poison? His stomach dropped. Was Inuyasha dense? Hell, was Sango for that matter?

 “I've gotten bad ones before, Kouga. It happens.” Kagome took a deep breath and sat up. For once, she didn't blush. She was too shaken up to even care about what had transpired between them.

 “It doesn't 'happen', Kagome. There are varieties of plants out here that can even kill me.” Hell, he didn't even like mushrooms. Why the hell did humans feel the need for mushrooms of all things, in their food? Fucking mushrooms.

 “What the hell are you doing here?” Inuyasha asked, but his tone was even and calm. Probably for Kagome AND Sango's benefit.

 “I was in the neighborhood.” Kouga snapped out. He was tempted to tell the mutt to mind his own business but knew that wasn't the way to go. He was angry that they were letting Kagome try poisonous food. He picked up the small basket and deposited it in his lap and picked up two of the mushrooms.

 He shook his head. “These aren't poisonous.”

 “They sure tasted poison.” Kagome muttered sourly. Not the taste, but the effects afterward.

 “Well, maybe you shouldn't be tasting them, then.” The thought angered him that they were letting Kagome put her life at risk. He stood from his crouched position and offered his hand to Kagome.

 Staring at Kouga's outstretched hand, Kagome felt horrible. Poison, whether it really was poison or not, Inuyasha's arguments and then Kouga witnessing her vulnerable. She didn't like company when she vomited. Food poison was ten times more likely in the Feudal Era. She took Kouga's hand and let him pull her to her feet before withdrawing her hand. “Someone has to, or we'll all get sick.”

 He nodded his head towards Inuyasha. “Let him.”

 Inuyasha bristled. “Trying to kill me off, ya' mangy wolf? Well, I don't die that easily.”

 Sango stepped between the Half-Demon and Wolf Demon, sensing the tension that was growing between the two. “No, Inuyasha. That's not what Kouga means. He means that you should....” She trailed off, realizing that that would only piss Inuyasha off even more.

 “No, that's exactly what I meant.” Kouga interrupted before Sango could say anything more, catching onto what she had almost said. “Since you're not properly taking care of her, maybe I should.” Hell knew he wouldn't let Kagome do something so stupid. She was human and the mutt was doing a poor execution of protecting her.

 “Are you forgetting whose Mate you're talking to?”

 His blue eyes narrowed. “Do you really want to go there, Inuyasha? Because I will. You let her poison herself. _Poison_ herself, Inuyasha.”

 Kagome didn't know where the confrontation had come from, but Kouga was definitely making a confrontation. She hadn't seen Kouga in nearly two weeks and the moment he came back, he and Inuyasha were at odds. That was putting it mildly.

 She swallowed past the tightness in her throat and stepped between them before their argument could break out into violence. She lifted her arms and directed her palms outward to near touching each mans chest and used minimal spiritual energy to shove the men apart.

 “Stop it—the both of you. I'm alright, Kouga. Poisonous or not, I'm alright. What's gotten into you two? Just stop it. Now.”

 Sango looked ready to whip out a well concealed weapon. Kouga didn't doubt the slayer carried some form of weapon.

 When Kagome would have reached for the basket, Kouga lifted it out of her reach and dumped the contents unceremoniously on the ground. She sighed and took the emptied basket from his clawed hand.

 “Poison or not,” Kouga confirmed. “—no.”

 She didn't argue the point with him. God, her life was so complicated.

 “How about you two argue it out in the forest. Kagome and I are going back.” Sango stated with a hard stare, almost daring the half demon and wolf demon to argue with her.

 Inuyasha wanted to fight him. Whether it was just because of rivalry period, or the need to prove he was the better man for Kagome, Kouga didn't know and didn't care. He wasn't going to fight Inuyasha. He didn't want to. After two weeks of Pack business, he missed Kagome and he'd be damned if a little awkwardness from their past kept him from seeing her.

 “As long as you're alright.” Kouga said, grabbing Kagomes arm. Visibly, she looked alright. But she _had_ been sick. Poison or no, she had put herself in that position and it didn't sit well with him. He knew he was overreacting. Whether or not he actually had a chance with Kagome again, he wasn't going to sit by idly and watch her poison herself.

 Only when she nodded did he let her go.

 

 

-Your reviews mean the world to me-

 

(Author's Note)

Short but sweet.

 

Someone mentioned that in the last chapter, Kouga seemed a little out of character because he wasn't stating his real feelings when he dealt with Ayame. Yes, that's true. There are times when he's blunt with Ayame, but in this particular matter Kouga knew that if he did the wrong thing, Kagome would pay for it, not him. He won't let Ayame use it against him, though. He is her Alpha and his word is the Law.

 


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter Eleven

 

“We need to talk.” Kouga said the moment he managed to get Kagome alone. The “alone” was when she retired to the small room the Slayer had offered in the back of the small hut. He caught himself one handed against the top of the wooden window plate and smoothly slid through the opening, ducking his head before standing to his full height in the small room. 

Kagome looked up, startled at his sudden appearance. “About what?” She asked uneasily. 

Kouga closed the window frame and was thankful that she hadn't chosen tonight to go back to the small hut she had shared with Inuyasha. Eventually, she was. The two still had things to settle and whether it resulted in the hut being occupied by one or two, he didn't care right now. 

Kagome had the feeling she knew what he wanted to discuss. The look on his face was taunt—he was angry. She walked to the door across the room and twisted the lock. She couldn't even begin to imagine how she would explain to Sango if she saw Kouga climbing through her window. 

“About you.” 

“What's there to talk about?” She retorted. 

His eyebrows slanted down. Kouga stalked around a chair blocking his way. “A lot, I'd say.”

He was still angry. Kagome sighed. “I'm alright, Kouga.”

“Keep being stupid and you might not be next time.” 

“Is this why you came? To chastise me?” Kagome bristled, watching him fold his arms over his chest. “I can take care of myself, Kouga. You yourself said they weren't poison.” 

They hadn't been. He would have known. But knowing that she willingly put it on herself, he wasn't having it. He'd be damned before letting her put herself in that position. Watching her vomit, unable to control the shudders and the sour tang of bile—Kouga would take her away himself if the others continued to let her endanger herself. How dare Inuyasha let her? 

“They weren't poison. But you might not be so lucky next time, Kagome. Are we clear?” 

“Excuse me?” Kagome asked, her voice faltering. 

His eyes narrowed as he repeated his own words in his head. Not poison. Something flashed through his eyes. “Are you pregnant?” He asked evenly, his words low. 

“Excuse me?” Kagome repeated, though this time her sentence was directed at his question. Had she heard him right?

“Are you with child, Kagome?” Kouga asked again, his tone never changing. His lips thinned at the thought. His heart tightened clenched—what if she was? What if it was his—what if it wasn't? 

Kagome paled. What? No. No, of course not. Realizing the reason for his question she could feel her cheeks heating. She would have had to have sex to get pregnant. She'd had sex with Kouga. She'd woken up wrapped in his arms, just as naked as he. 

“Kagome?”

Realizing he was waiting for an answer, Kagome cleared her throat. “No. No, of course not.” 

“Are you sure?” Kouga pressed on. His eyes dipped down, moving over her flat stomach. 

God, of course she was sure. “I'm sure, Kouga.” Kagome said awkwardly. 

Kouga retained his silence and then his nose twitched as he sniffed the air between them. “I don't smell any blood.” 

“Blood?” 

“Your time of the month.” He said flatly. The image of her sick played in his mind, over and over. He didn't like it. 

“Kouga!” Kagome whispered, her cheeks heating in mortification but Kouga didn't look repentant in the least. He was serious. She shook her head. “I swear, Kouga. I'm not...you would have had to...” She faltered, but only because she couldn't bring herself to say what was on her mind. She wasn't pregnant. It was mortifying going over this with him. She didn't completely remember that night, but vague memories still haunted her dreams. “Did you?” She forced herself to ask. 

Kouga knew what she was asking, even if she didn't say it. Had he come in her? He shrugged. 

Kagome had made up her mind that they were going to leave that night behind. She hadn't wanted to talk about it. Talking about it made it real. Talking about it wouldn't let her forget that she cared for him. 

She shook her head. “I...I'm not, Kouga.” She wasn't going to explain, he wouldn't understand. 

Kouga exhaled, some of the tension leaving his shoulders. What would he have done if she had said yes? He didn't know. The thought that if she had been, he would have had to wait until the child was fully developed in her womb to know if the child was his or Inuyasha's. 

His lips thinned at the reminder. 

Then again, he hadn't smelled Inuyasha on her. Not even now. He nodded. Seeing her expression, he unfolded his arms. “I had to ask. You understand that, right?”

Kagome nodded. Of course he'd want to know. But she wasn't. The truth of that was harsh. She wasn't. She wanted children someday. She wanted... She looked away. “Are you done bitching at me?” 

His lips quirked. He didn't understand the term, but he was sure it was some kind of insult from her time. The impact was the same. “Only if you're done doing stupid things.” Kouga started towards her and when he reached her, he sighed and tilted her face up to his with two fingers beneath her chin. “But I don't want to be done with you, Kagome.” 

Kagome didn't have it in her to chastise him for what he was doing. He was doing it again, asking for what he had wanted for years now. Except this time around, he was being verbal about it. She had told him before, she couldn't promise him anything. 

This time, she actually wanted to promise him something. 

She hated the way she blushed around him. It was an involuntary reaction that happened around him. It didn't make sense why she liked him. She rarely saw him. The past was catching up to them, bringing feelings she didn't understand.

Sooner or later, she was going to have to go back to her and Inuyasha's hut. She couldn't continue to stay with Sango and her growing brood. 

Kouga pushed the dark hair back from her face. She was quiet. “Will you at least give me a chance this time?” 

Give him a chance? Kagome looked through his blue eyes, searching for something, but not knowing what. What if she said yes? What if she said no? Before, he had said he wasn't going to push for anything. Now he was asking for it. He wasn't begging. He wasn't taking. He was asking. 

Her tongue slid over her lips. “I want to.” She finally admitted. “I just...I don't want to hurt you.” 

Kouga's lips quirked. “I've always imagined you saying something like that to me.” His eyes moved over her face. He was still angry, but at least they were on even ground now. 

He was still waiting for an answer, but he wasn't voicing his question again. He was leaving it up to her. Kagome finally nodded slowly. A small smile spread over his lips. There was nothing smug about it. It was just a small smile. There was contentment there. 

Hope. 

Her heart skipped a beat when he lowered his head, cupping the side of her neck. His clawed thumb swept over her pulse. He hadn't come here for this and she certainly hadn't been expecting it but she didn't protest when he kissed her. 

He'd come here angry. He'd come here with the intent to show her just how stupid her actions had been. Instead, he found himself doing something he'd said he wouldn't. He didn't regret the action. 

Kagome sighed at the gentleness in the kiss. His tongue swept over her bottom lip and Kagome tentatively yielded, sinking against his armored body. He smelled like the woods and he tasted like the forest. Something dark and animal. 

Her fingers closed over the armor covering his wrist and he lifted his arms, breaking her hold so that he could form his own around her. 

“As much as I want to make some memories that I will actually remember, I'm not going to push my luck.” Kouga murmured huskily, breaking the kiss. 

Kagome kept her eyes closed, pressing her forehead against his chest. Time would tell how she was going to push herself forward. But Kouga was here to help her, wasn't he? She stepped back, the expression on her face shy as she smiled and looked up into his tan face. “...thank you.” 

He gave her a smile brilliant smile that sent her heart into over time all over again. She hadn't promised him the world—but he was being given a chance. He just had to make sure he beat Inuyasha to the finish line.


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter Twelve

Kagome paused with one foot inside. She'd dreaded coming back here, knowing she was going to have to face Inuyasha. Staring at the familiar setting, why did she feel guilt?

Kouga came to mind.

It had nothing to do with the fact that she'd broken Inuyasha's heart and completely to do with the fact that while she'd been tip toeing around Inuyasha, she'd been tip toeing into Kouga.

She'd told herself this was going to be easy. Friendship was a valuable thing and she valued it with Inuyasha.

There were dishes on the table and she caught a glimpse of red clothes on the floor. A small smile tugged at her lips. Inuyasha never had been a very neat person. He tried when she wasn't around, but he never managed completely.

She couldn't even begin to imagine Kouga here. The four walls and ceiling would be like a cage to him. She'd seen the change in him when she met him, but living restrained lifestyle...that wasn't Kouga. Neither men understood her need for orderliness and she doubted Kouga was any better. He was a Wolf Demon. He WAS Chaos. If anything, the Feudal Era had made her OCD worse.

She leaned down and picked up the haphazardly strewn fire rat clothing and neatly folded them before placing them on a nearby chair.

When she looked up, Inuyasha was there. She took a deep breath.

"I'm sorry, you know that, right?" Inuyasha said.

She closed her mouth. She hadn't expected that. He was apologizing. Inuyasha didn't apologize. Like he had done on so many occasions in the past, he wasn't pushing her. He looked set in the realization of the truth. He almost looked lost.

God, she hated that she was the one doing this to him. He was accepting of it. Almost...She knew exactly how he felt, because she had witnessed and felt the same thing every time she'd seen him with Kikyou.

Karma was a bitch. There was no cruel, needless happiness in the thought. It was just there and if Karma was in fact a real person and not just a round about of things, she would have told them to go to hell. They all deserved to be happy in their own ways, not for Karma to come around and laugh.

She nodded. "I know."

They were at a stand off with something broken between them. A new path was forming, leading them both in different directions. Kagome only wished she knew what she was doing.

"I just...will you at least give me a chance to prove myself to you?"

And there he went. She looked away. She thought of the night before and how Kouga had said the same words. She was in the past again with two demons vying for her affections. The difficult part was knowing she had to move on, but she had so much invested in Inuyasha. Maybe she was scared of starting over. Maybe she was scared that as Kikyou's reincarnation, she was destined to be with Inuyasha but she was just too foolish to see that.

God, so many what ifs.

She was a horrible person. Horrible. If she had any good in her heart, she wouldn't have made a trying promise to Kouga. If she was true to herself, she wouldn't be doubting herself. If there was any loyalty in her, she wouldn't have...if only she was half the woman her mother had been.

God, what kind of person was she?

"Prove what, Inuyasha?" Kagome asked softly. "We're going around in circles."

He gave a soft, sad smile. "We are, aren't we?"

This was the Inuyasha she had come to know over the years. He'd grown up. Hardships had changed him. He wasn't jumping to his ridiculous conclusions and demanding answers or worse, demanding she do what HE wanted.

"You still have a place here, Kagome. I'm not going to run you out." Inuyasha said, looking around with bright eyes.

"I'll take the couch, Inuyasha. Don't worry about it." She wasn't going to stay here for long, she already knew that. She wanted a fresh start, some place that didn't constantly remind her of Inuyasha.

The look in his eyes mirrored a certain Wolf Demons.

Kagome cringed on the inside.

"Kagome...I know the mutts been hanging around lately. And..." Inuyasha said, shaking his head.

Kagome bit her lip. "He has a home here, Inuyasha. Maybe not what we call a home, but..."

Inuyasha nodded, but Kagome could see that he wasn't as accepting of the notion as her. She had to mentally guard herself, to will her heart to remain calm. Inuyasha's nose was good at detecting the change in her scent if she was nervous.

Inuyasha ran a hand through his long hair. "...it's just...he thinks..." Inuyasha trailed off, not knowing how to phrase his words. He knew what the damn wolf wanted. That apparently hadn't changed. He looked up, his eyes moving over her face. She was blushing and he detected the slight change in her scent.

He sighed and ran clawed fingers through his hair again. "Kouga?"

Kagome bit her bottom lip. "What about him?"

"If I'm going to lose you, it won't be to him."

Her bottom lip stung and she released. She detected no animosity in his tone, but she didn't like the way he phrased his words. As if he...knew something. Knowing just one thing was too much, especially when Kouga was the one who was slowly making a place for himself in her life.

"It's not him, Inuyasha. You know that."

Inuyasha lifted his hand and tugged a stray hair behind her ear. "I know." Inuyasha admitted reluctantly. "The damn wolf never did know what was good for him, though."

"Inuyasha..." Kagome murmured. "There's nothing between Kouga and I."

Inuyasha gave a soft, sad smile. "I never said there was. But your scent always changes when you lie."

She hated it when he did that, even if he couldn't help it. Sometimes he just let her think she could get away with lying. But she knew better. His nose told all. She didn't want to tell Inuyasha, not when she didn't yet know herself. She was falling for Kouga.

"But you are here with me." Inuyasha said and before she could protest the hope she heard in his voice, he gave a teasing, fanged grin. "I might have made you sleep in uncomfortable places in my younger years, but I'm not about to start that habit again. The bed is yours." Inuyasha closed the distance between them and enveloped her in a gentle hug.

Kagome embraced the familiarity. However things ended, she could see their friendship remaining. They were strong enough for that.

She embraced the hug and her skin crawled from the contact. Goosebumps rose from where he touched bare skin and a sickening sense of dismay filled her. She lurched back, fighting the sudden nausea and the way her skin crawled at the thought of him touching her. She wrapped her arms around her body, rubbing her forearms from where he'd made contact.

Inuyasha noticed the reaction instantly and frowned. He couldn't sense her, but he didn't need to. The expression was clear on her face. "What's wrong?" He reached out and touched her again.

All he did was touch her, but the contact hurt. It wasn't a physical pain, it was an aching sensation. She pulled back and shook her head. "Nothing. I just..." She didn't want him touching her. Her skin crawled and almost burned from where he'd touched her.

He looked genuinely worried. Even with how things were, he was worried for her. "You look pale."

She felt pale. She would be alright—as long as he didn't touch her again. She shook her head when he reached for her again and his hand halted. "No—no, I'm alright. Just tired is all." Her mouth felt dry. She'd felt like this around Miroku. He'd touched her and she'd recoiled as if burned. The only person whose touch she had been able to bare was Kouga when he'd placed his hand on her back when she'd vomited.

She shook her head when Inuyasha offered to go collect Sango. What she wanted to do was sleep. She'd been through enough in one day and Sango was the last person she was going to bother with her problems. She'd bothered Sango enough. The slayer deserved the alone time with her family.

Closing the door connecting the main room and the bedroom, Kagome made herself a pallet on the floor. The bed looked the least inviting. She stared at the opposite wall for only God knew how long before sinking back against the door and sinking to her knees.

As tired as she felt, sleep wasn't what she had on her mind. It wasn't long before she heard Inuyasha's light snore from the other room.

She slapped her hand against her throat when something bit her. A small moan reached her ears and she withdrew her hand. A small, familiar flea groaned from the center of her palm. "Myoga—I should have known." Kagome said softly, staring at the small speck.

"Why must you always be so cruel? I was just passing through and thought I would say hello to a few dear friends."

She arched an eyebrow and lifted her palm eye level. "And a late night dinner?" She was surprised that he was actually alone. They rarely caught him without a much larger Demon to hide behind. Obviously, he was on his way to said larger demon.

He hopped up and down in the palm of her hand before jumping to the floor where she nearly lost sight of him before he was on the window sill. "Tell Lord Inuyasha I said hello. I have missed dining on his blood greatly. Perhaps next time!" She caught sight of him squeezing through the small space before he turned his tiny head her way one last time. "And congratulations, Kagome!"

She blinked. "On what?"

"The baby, of course." Myoga called out before his small body vanished, leaving her alone.

Kagome stared at the empty place where he had been, trying to make sense of what he'd said when it suddenly hit her. The nausea she'd been fighting earlier came back full force with the realization and Kagome ran to the window and threw it open.

This time she couldn't stop it.

"Did you?" She forced herself to ask.

Kouga knew what she was asking, even if she didn't say it. Had he come in her? He shrugged.

Their earlier conversation came to mind and Kagome squeezed the window sill beneath her fingers so hard her knuckles were white. No—no. Saliva gathered in her mouth and Kagome had to steady herself.

Her hands shook.

She coughed, the unbelievable realization sickening her. Inuyasha was in the next room. She couldn't get sick here—not again.

She suddenly covered her mouth with her hand, swallowing the bile rising up with a sour expression and climbed outside.

She ran, ran as far as she dared before she dropped to all fours and retched. She couldn't stop until she was dry heaving, her heart pounding in her ears.

"Oh God." Kagome whispered sickeningly.

Her stomach tightened as tendrils of damp hair fell around her face. Myoga's words resounded in her brain over and over and she shuddered before finally drawing herself up into a sitting position. Wiping her mouth with the back of her hand, she cursed herself. And then Inuyasha and Kouga. Then herself again.

She didn't move. She wasn't so sure she had the strength, so instead she closed her eyes and fell back against the tree trunk behind her and drew her knees up. Her eyes watered as she tilted her head back and stared at the canopy of green over her head.

Horror filled her. What was she going to do? She wasn't ready for this. She was still trying to figure out where she fit in with Inuyasha and Kouga. And now?

Even years later, Kouga still managed to disrupt her life. But it wasn't his fault. She hunched over as another wave of nausea hit her. She wouldn't have believed it if Myoga hadn't said it. He'd tasted it through her blood. Oh God...it was so early on, but Myoga had tasted the life none the less.

Something was growing inside of her. Something so precious, something so innocent. She brought her hands up and covered her face. Life was growing inside her womb and it wasn't Inuyasha's.

"Damn you." She whispered, though she wasn't sure if she was damning herself or Kouga.


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter Thirteen

 

Her eyes hurt from crying so much. Things weren't going to settle over well, Kagome knew that. How was she going to tell Inuyasha? How was she going to explain...explain...

Inuyasha wasn't going to take that well. At all. 

Oh God, how was she going to tell Kouga? 

She didn't want to tell him. The thought terrified her. 

It wasn't the fear that she didn't know how to be a mother. There was a silent war brewing and Inuyasha and Kouga were going to be the ones to bring it full around. 

Kagome sat at the foot of the Memorial she'd had built, the crystal lake a silent reminder of the reason for her tears. She buried her face in her knees, fighting the hysteria setting in. 

And what was how Inuyasha found her. Crying. 

Inuyasha just stood there, not knowing what to do. He didn't know what was wrong. She was just crying. He had to wonder if it was something he'd done the night before, but for the life of him, he didn't know what. She wouldn't even tell him why she was crying. 

Dammit. 

“Kagome...” Inuyasha said again, almost whining. If she'd just tell him what was wrong, he'd fix it. If he couldn't, well, he'd try. He was sure from the way she was sniffling she didn't have many tears left to cry. Could a humans body run out of tears? 

God, he hoped so. 

“Kagome, just tell me what's wrong. Please.” Inuyasha murmured, his hands hanging limply at his sides. Something heavy brushed his senses and he lifted his head, his ears flattening against his head before a whirlwind whipped up just to the left. 

Inuyasha bared his fangs in annoyance. 

When Kagome lifted her tear stricken face to his, Kouga cursed and crouched down. He looked up at Inuyasha. “What did you do?” He asked accusingly, because Inuyasha was the only one present—and Inuyasha was Inuyasha. Knowing the two prior Mates history, Kouga came to conclusion easy enough. 

Inuyasha even looked guilty. 

His heart clenched as he cupped the back of Kagome's neck and gave it a reassuring squeeze. He could smell the anger and hysteria in her scent. He looked between the two; had they had a fight? He'd witnessed Kagome's breakdown before because of Inuyasha. 

“I didn't do anything. She was like this when I found her.” Inuyasha said defensively. His upper lip was curled. He didn't like how Kouga just automatically assumed he was the reason. 

Kouga could feel her tense beneath his hand and shifted his hand to her back. “Did he do something, Kagome?” 

“I didn't do anything, you little shit.” Inuyasha said, somehow managing to maintain his level tone of voice. 

Kouga ignored the insult. Oh, he wanted to say more. He almost did. But right now, Kagome was crying. She wasn't just crying, she'd been crying for hours from the glimpse of her face. “I swear to God, Kagome, if Inuyasha did something, tell me...” He would string him up from his intestines. 

Kagome sat there, her hysteria rising with each passing moment. The two demons were the reason for her hysteria and they didn't even know it. Kouga was the one who was trying to assure her—but he was the main reason for her tears. 

Where was the irony in that? 

Where was the fairness? 

Her shoulders shook. He wasn't the only one at fault. She was right along side him, but it all came down to the fact that when the truth came out, Inuyasha was going to know about her and Kouga. She hadn't meant for it to happen. Not when she was with Inuyasha. She hadn't meant for her feelings for the Wolf Demon to overwhelm her, but they were taking her over with each passing day. 

Kouga would have been beside himself with glee. 

She wasn't ready for this. 

She wasn't even paying him any heed. She wouldn't even look at him. Kouga hated it. Whatever the mutt had done, Kouga was going to knock him down a notch or two. That hadn't changed in the years since they'd known each other. 

“Mind if I have a word with you?”

Kouga looked up at Inuyasha's request. “What?”

Inuyasha nodded his head in the opposite direction. “You heard me.” 

His jaw clenched and Kouga shook his head. “I'm not leaving her alone like this.” Like hell. 

“In case you hadn't noticed...” Inuyasha said and his tone softened. “...she's not in the best of moods. She wants to be left alone. Take it from someone who knows her.” He didn't have to add the last part. Maybe it was a chide on his part, something to remind the wolf that he knew Kagome better than Kouga. He had for years...

“Kagome?” He wasn't going to take the mutts word on it. In that moment, screw the mutt. Kouga moved around Kagome until he was in front of her and crouched back down. He tilted her face up, not giving her a choice. Screw what the mutt read in the motion. “You alright?” 

Of all the people to have witnessed her second breakdown, Kagome knew she had to have had the worst luck possible. They were the last two people who should be seeing this. But Kouga, he wasn't giving her a choice. Kagome sniffled before she could embarrass herself further with a snotty nose. 

No, she wasn't alright. But Inuyasha was right. She wanted to be left alone. Last night hadn't been enough. This morning hadn't been enough. Kouga was the last person she wanted to face. 

She looked away. “Yes.”

Just one word. It was vague, nothing more than a simple gesture that was completely ignorant. That wasn't like Kagome. Kouga released her reluctantly, frowning. He stood and hated the distance he was creating. She was distant. Her one word had said that. What the hell had happened in a days time that had caused the distant look in her eyes? 

Inuyasha could go screw himself if he thought he was going to leave Kagome alone for long when she was like this. 

He nodded curtly and turned his back. Kagome didn't turn her head, didn't even acknowledge his departure. She just took a deep breath and buried her head against her knees again. This time, at least, he didn't smell tears. 

He reluctantly followed Inuyasha into the forest, giving Kagome the distance she was silently asking for, according to Inuyasha. His jaw clenched. 

“She was fine yesterday. What did you do?” Kouga asked again when Inuyasha stopped. 

Inuyasha shrugged at the repeated accusation. As much as he wanted to bark out that he hadn't done anything, he had something he needed to say and starting off with a yelling match wasn't how he wanted to go. “I didn't do anything. He repeated. “What did you do?” 

Inuyasha's tone wasn't accusing. He was asking a simple question. But the way he spoke so calmly...the dog demon saw something he didn't like between him and Kagome. Kouga shrugged. “Nothing. That I know of.” 

Inuyasha stared at Kouga in silence. Nothing? Inuyasha read into the “nothing” and Kouga knew it. 

He didn't know know but... 

“That's what I thought.” Inuyasha said and his fist clenched. “Look...I don't know what's going on between you and Kagome...” Inuyasha started evenly. 

Kouga tensed but remained silent. 

“But I'm not stupid.” He chose his next words carefully. “You're doing something right this time.” Inuyasha shook his head. “But I'm not going to lose her to you.” He was making it clear that he knew something, even if he didn't know what that something was. He was being abrupt and honest. “Whatever it is you're doing...”

He was doing something right. Yea, Kouga knew, he was doing something right this time around. Otherwise, he wouldn't have stood a chance against Inuyasha. “You know you don't deserve her, right?” 

“And you do?” Inuyasha challenged right back. 

“More than you.” Kouga didn't hesitate. 

Inuyasha's upper lip curled again in a silent warning but he didn't retaliate. They hadn't come here for this. He was just warning Kouga. “She won't even let me touch her.” Seeing Kouga's sour expression, Inuyasha continued. “Not like that.” He muttered. “But you, she didn't even cringe.” 

Kouga remained silent, listening to what Inuyasha had to say. He was making way with Kagome and knowing that she was accepting his touch over Inuyasha's, well, he wasn't going to gloat. 

“I'm going to fight for her, Kouga.” Inuyasha said finally. 

Kouga folded his arms. Inuyasha knew Kagome was like an open season. He'd lost something precious and he was on the losing end. “I already am.” Kouga said. 

“And I hate your fucking guts for it.” 

Kouga gave a wry grin. “You and everyone else.” 

They were in agreement. Kouga didn't like the fact that what he wanted was clear for Inuyasha to see, but the shit was done. It couldn't be taken back. He nodded. And now he wanted to get back to Kagome. Inuyasha was ready to let Kagome seethe in her tears and anger, but Kouga wasn't. She could take her anger out on him for all he cared, as long as she spoke to him. 

Inuyasha surprised him, though. He watched as Inuyasha bounded up into the trees in a blur of red and headed in the direction of Sango's hut. He turned his head toward the lake, but Kagome was gone. No wonder the mutt was in such a hurry to get to Sango's. 

Kouga sighed and pressed a thumb against the center of his forehead to dim the migraine starting. He followed the mutt but at a much more leisurely place. He hadn't expected that from Inuyasha. Inuyasha was accepting of the fact that he was pursuing Kagome. 

It was going to make things more difficult but...unlike the last time, he had a standing chance. Kagome looked at him differently this time around. 

I love you, Kouga.

His lips thinned at the memory. Yea, he remembered that part. He hadn't at first. He hadn't had that from Kagome before. He had it now and that made a big difference. 

He could see the glow of Sango's hut in the distance and when he finally reached the front porch Sango was there. “Hey.” He said as he crossed his arms, leaning against one of the thin wooden pillars. 

“Hi.” He followed Sango's train of eyesight and saw Kagome off in the distance. Inuyasha stood over her, speaking softly. Kouga could make out their conversation, but barely. It was nothing that concerned him, so he tuned them out. 

He inhaled and Sango's hormonal scent reached him. He was used to it by now. He could make out her heartbeat and the heartbeat of her child. Another softer scent reached him. He turned his head Kagome's way again. They weren't close, but Kouga could still smell her. 

The salt of her tears and the scent that was composed of her. And something that wasn't completely her. 

His eyebrows snapped down.

The scent of innocence reached him—it wasn't Sango's scent. It was the subtle change in Kagome's scent. 

She was with child. 

The vicinity of his heart clenched and his shoulders tensed. Inuyasha...His tail wagged, agitated. “Guess congratulations are in order.” Kouga said gruffly. 

Sango looked up from watching the pair across the field, as if waiting for the moment when she would have to rush to Kagome's aid. “On what?” She questioned. 

“Looks like you're gonna be an Aunt.” 

Sango dropped her arms and turned her head. “What?”

“Kagome's with child.” Kouga stated and the words were sour in his mouth. 

Sango shook her head. “No, she's not.” 

What was she trying to do? Lie for his benefit? Kouga almost snorted. As if she would get away with it. He didn't like being lied to. “She's with child, slayer. I smell it on her.” He paused. “In her.” 

His chest ached. He wanted to hit something. 

Sango opened her mouth and then closed it, frowning. “No...she's...” She trailed off again, shaking her head. She didn't want to finish her sentence. 

Kouga arched an eyebrow, daring her to prove him wrong. 

“Kouga...Kagome....” Sango shook her head again, looking uncomfortable, as if she were saying something she wasn't supposed to. “...she can't have children. Or at least...Inuyasha can't, from what she told me. But please, don't tell Kagome I told you...” Sango looked guilty. 

His blue eyes narrowed. He turned his head and his eyes moved over Kagome's body in the distance, settling over her smooth, flat stomach. He inhaled again. 

By God—Kagome was with child. She hadn't told him. She'd let him walk away earlier. And she hadn't told him. 

And the child wasn't Inuyasha's. It was HIS. 

He didn't say anything, just stepped off the small porch and stalked across the field. 

-Your reviews mean the world to me-


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter Fourteen

 

He was angry.

Kouga could barely restrain the need to pound his fist into the ground as he cut across the field. Blades of grass cut across his thighs as he stalked towards Kagome, his expression taunt. His eyes zeroed in on her.

She was with child. His pup. His fucking child. Even now, this very moment, his pup was growing inside her body. She hadn't told him. He repeated the phrase to himself. That was his fucking pup. How dare she?

His eyes lowered, following Inuyasha's hand and the way Kagome shifted her shoulder away from his touch.

His lips thinned.

Kagome must have sensed him because she lifted her head at his approach. Her lips trembled but she wasn't crying anymore. He read the guilt in her expression for what it was—guilt. She was guilty and she had every right to be. He scented fear but ignored it. He wasn't worried about scaring her. Kagome should have known by now he would never hurt her.

Was that confusion he scented? He was about to clear things up.

He stopped in front of her and Inuyasha stood. Kouga didn't look away from where Kagome sat at his feet. He held out his clawed hand until Kagome had no choice but to take it. He pulled her to her feet.

“We need to talk. Now.” His voice was low. His eyes shifted to Inuyasha. “Alone.”

Kagome wrapped her arms around her waist. “About what?” Kagome murmured, biting her bottom lip.

Kouga didn't look at Inuyasha this time, just stared down at her without changing expression. “Alone.” He repeated. A part of him was waiting for her to _tell_ him. Their one night had led to a commitment that he'd wanted his entire life. Pups. Knowing that Kagome was the mother...

It soothed the anger surging through him, but barely.

He didn't like how Inuyasha was nearly hanging all over her. That was his pup and essentially  _his woman._ The thought came with pride.

“I don't think you want to discuss this with Inuyasha around.” Kouga said evenly.

“I'm not going anywhere.” Inuyasha said, standing to his full height, his ears sweeping down nearly into his white hair. He said it for the full benefit that Kouga didn't _want_ him there.

Kagome could feel the sudden tension and fidgeted between both demons. She had the feeling she was the only reason they weren't jumping each other. Inuyasha looked annoyed. Kouga looked...fierce. His eyes were so blue she swore they were on the verge of glowing.

Kouga was suddenly tired of Inuyasha. He wanted to be  _alone_ with Kagome, not a threesome that the dog was suddenly so rearing for. “I. Said. Alone.” Kouga said, biting the words out in warning to Inuyasha. This was between him and Kagome. He didn't want to do this, not with Inuyasha here. The dog would find out soon enough.

Inuyasha didn't move, even against the threatening step Kouga took which brought them nearly chest to chest.

Kagome could see the violence coming. Both men were fighting for her without even coming to fists. She wasn't having it. She pushed her hands between their bodies, forcing them apart. “Dammit, Kouga—“

“ _You're with child.”_ Kouga bit out, his eyes meeting hers.

Kagome froze.

“ _Why didn't you tell me?”_

She didn't know how he knew, but he _knew._ Dismay filled her, something akin to horror. Her eyes clouded again—tears. She opened her mouth and would have spoke, but she saw Inuyasha's expression.

He stared at Kagome and she could see his mind working as he went over the bit out words...his amber eyes moved from her to Kouga before they narrowed.

Not only did Kouga know, but _Inuyasha_ knew. He fucking knew.

Kagome blinked past the tears when Inuyasha was suddenly in front of her. “I don't care, Kagome.” Inuyasha muttered. She could see the anger in his amber eyes, but he continued. “We can leave. I'll take you away from here. You and the pup—“

Inuyasha never even finished the sentence because Kouga was in his face.

“I'll kill you before I let you keep me away from my pup.” Kouga snarled out viciously, his voice low again. He meant every word. How dare the half-breed? That was HIS pup.

Kagome was helpless—shocked. So much was happening too fast. She could feel her aura speaking with the rise of Kouga's wolf demon. She couldn't see a change in his appearance, but she could feel it through his sudden rage.

“She never was yours.” Inuyasha spat out.

“I had her first.” Kouga hissed.

Inuyasha balled his fist. “ _You_ never had her.”

“ _I had her first.”_ Kouga hissed out again, the blue in his eyes expanding until there was only pinpricks of black in the middle. The meaning was clear.

Kagome could feel the color drain from her face.

 

-Your reviews mean the world to me-

 

 


End file.
